1. EachPod

No is a complete Sentence.

Author
Rhumel And Twanda
Published
Tue 16 Mar 2021
Episode Link
https://girrrlpodcast.com/episodes/no-_KgxP_54

Recorded February 28, 2021

Have you ever said “Yes” to something you should have said “No” to, then proceed to hate doing the thing you agreed to do? “

Yeah. Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt.

We know how this started. As kids our parents often volunteered us to do stuff and we couldn’t say no. Now, as grown @$$ women, we still don’t like to tell our well-meaning parents, “No”. Fortunately, we both have parents who have done so much good for us, we choose to honor them by doing what they want us to do when we can. But let’s be honest,  we have trouble saying “No” to perfect strangers trying to sell us stuff we don't want.

Ladies, why do we say “Yes” when we mean “No”?

  • People pleasing – Wanting people to be happy
  • Protecting image – Want people to think well of us
  • Lack of will – Allowing another’s will to overcome our own

Lessons: 

  • Saying NO and setting boundaries is really about self care.
  • Even if you started something you should have said no to, you can still walk away.
  • Don’t overdo the good stuff such that it becomes a burden.
  • You don’t have to convince anyone that your NO is sufficient.
  • Offer a firm NO otherwise you leave the door open for them to ask again.
  • Create and follow budget with your time, money and energy.

 

Nuggets – Fun ways to say NO that we want you to try with us:

Them: Girrrl, will you [insert something you don't want to do here]?

You:

  • No thank you.
  • I wish I wanted to.
  • I’d rather not.
  • “No.“ (Because it’s a complete sentence)

                                 

Mastering this skill is a process  

Quotes:

“When I was 40, I realized I had the right to do it [say no], now that I am out of my 40s I know that I have the right and I’m getting much more comfortable with the idea of just saying no with as little explanation as possible.” – Rhumel

“I want less regrets in my life.” – Twanda

“If it is something you are volunteering for it should make you feel good.” -Rhumel

“On the phone, I reserve the right to hang that %!+(# up.” – Rhumel

“I said No. I mean no and I don’t owe you any explanation. I don’t have to tell you why I said NO. I don’t have to convince you to agree with me.” -T

“People say ‘Don’t Quit’ (humph) that’s bullshit. Quitting is not always and a bad thing. – T

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