A bih talks about coping mechanisms and how we cope
- Author
- Cynthia
- Published
- Thu 05 Mar 2020
- Episode Link
- None
What's in this episode?
I think coping has been thrown out a lot more the past couple of years. I know, I would have side eyed this a couple of years ago because you know, we’re all human and we have to get by. Cue talib kweli!
We all cope good and badly. Hopefully, more good than bad but even if not, that can change – if you want it too.
What can coping can be?
- A way to soothe yourself if you’re feeling anxious, emotional, overwhelmed, confused, etc
- Something that will calm you down, make you feel more balanced
- It tips into if it’s bad or good based on how you feel after you’ve calmed down. Does it leave you energized, focused, driven OR do you feel rundown, lethargic, numb?
Coping & Me:
I coped poorly. I took the path of least resistance. I stuck to things that would numb me, take me out of my head (even if I knew it was hurting me). If it made me feel like shit or allowed me to keep treating myself like shit. I was all for it. Drinking was my biggest way to cope. The thought of trying to figure something out, process something, confront something or someone would send me into overdrive. It was much easier to take it out on the bottle. I would spend days, nights, hours drink just to not deal with my life. Or deal with the people that were in my life.
Why do we cope the way that we do?
- It’s what we know.
- It’s easy/familiar to us. If it’s a bad coping mech, it’s usually immediate, so we don’t have to wait to get the result we want
- It’s acceptable in your world, so you don’t have to explain it
- Low self-esteem/no sense of self
- Numbing / don’t have to feel or think about shit/Distraction
Other things that fall under this category would be:
- Drugs/alcohol use
- Emotional eating
- Risk seeking behavior (sex usually falls into this)
- Smoking
- Excessive reliance on technology
Healthy ones could be:
- Exploring your creativity
- Meditating (your girl has tried this)
- Writing
- Self-care activities
How to notice what kind you have or are displaying?
- Awareness. Self-awareness is so crucial. It can be a bitch, though. When I want to act out, it’s always coping poorly but maaaan – being aware that’s what it is, is crazy.
- Name what is driving you. Whether it’s a situation or emotion, think on it. Ask if is it really worth it?
And as always, thank you for listening to my lovely show. If possible, I would love for you to review me on iTunes, Google, Stitcher -- anywhere, really.
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