Dropped in the Colombian jungle with no signal, no plan, and one blurry photo of a business card, I ended up on a secret “Make Your Own Cocaine” tour with a stranger armed to the teeth and a smile to match. What followed was 48 hours of chaos, weed farms, jungle horses, and the kind of story you’d never believe if I didn’t film it. This is the craziest sh*t I’ve ever lived—and it’s all real.