Why Are Gay Friendships So Hard?

For many gay men, friendship is complicated, performative, and sometimes downright painful. We crave genuine connection but end up navigating cliques, comparison, and quiet loneliness. 

In this episode, Michael and Pepper are doing an exposé on gay friendships to unpack what’s really going on beneath the surface and why so many gay friendships fall short of the depth and safety we actually want.

We’re breaking it down in three parts:

• The Pretty Lies: Performative friendship, superficiality, and toxic group dynamics
• The Ugly Truth: How shame, fear, and survival strategies get in the way of true friendship
• True Friendship: What fun, nourishing gay friendship looks like and how we can build it

This episode is your invitation to shift from followers to friendship, and from competition to collaboration—and start building real connection.

Related Episodes:

• Making Friends (Introvert Edition)
• How to Make Friends with Gay Men

Today's Guest: Pepper Rojas

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Today's Host: Michael DiIorio

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