Am I an Author?

Writing a book has taught me about many things—ego prominently among them.

Over an almost 60-year professional career, I had come to think of myself as good at writing, editing, and managing publications—that is, a person with certain skills. As I completed my book manuscript, I began to take on another role—a person who has written a book and is shifting into the business side of publishing it. That involved two labels: author and independent publisher.

Labels, though, are fictions. The author label is particularly dangerous for the person being labeled. It’s a built-in mousetrap set by the ego. As I became an author—a label I had dreamed of since an eighth-grade teacher told me I could write—I reveled in the word. In Buddhist language, the demon Mara was pulling me away from awareness and toward egotism. In the language of neuroscience, just thinking about being an author released more endorphins.

This is where years of awareness and nature-of-mind meditation are helping me. I haven’t reached the point of being fully aware every moment of every day, but I have glimpses of what I am allowing my yada-yada-bada-bada mind to get away with. That’s why I decided to write this blog post. I’m sharing my awareness in real time.

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