Consult a Counselor: Forcing Kids to Give Hugs

Episode Description:
Welcome to The Consult a Counselor Series, a special segment of the Free to Be Mindful Podcast, where therapist and host Vanessa De Jesus Guzman, LPC, NCC, answers real-life parenting questions to help you find balance, reduce worry, and live mindfully with your children.

Today’s Question:
"We’re seeing family for Thanksgiving who are very touchy-feely and like to kiss and hug. My child does not like this. Should I force her to say hello?"

In this episode, Vanessa tackles a question that many parents, especially those in culturally affectionate families, might grapple with during the holidays. She explores the importance of respecting your child’s boundaries while maintaining cultural traditions and family connections. Vanessa offers practical, culturally sensitive tips to handle these situations while empowering your child to feel confident in their personal space and interactions.

Tune in to learn:

• Why respecting your child’s comfort level around physical affection is crucial for building self-respect and confidence
• How to teach polite alternatives like high-fives or fist bumps while maintaining warmth and respect
• Strategies for communicating with family in advance to set expectations and avoid awkward moments
• Tips for modeling polite behavior and gratitude, even without physical affection
• How to balance cultural traditions with your child’s need for autonomy

Vanessa shares relatable anecdotes and culturally sensitive advice, offering a roadmap for parents navigating holiday gatherings with mindfulness and care.

Takeaway Message:
Balancing family traditions and your child’s boundaries can be tricky, but finding a middle ground fosters respect and connection. By modeling polite, respectful alternatives, you empower your child to assert their autonomy while honoring the values of your family.

Listen in, and remember… you’re always free to be mindful!

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DISCLAIMER:
Free to Be Mindful Podcast episodes are for educational purposes only and should not be considered as or substituted for therapy or professional help from a licensed clinician.