#7 How to Not Lose Yourself in a Relationship

Ask yourself, “When did I notice I was no longer feeling like myself and what did I notice?” take inventory of what boundaries needed to have been in place so you can place them sooner next time or pivot as you move forward. It’s ok to be different than your partner AND to grow with them, you don’t have to like all the same things to be attractive Focal Point: If you feel the need to hide your quirky interests/disinterests to stay in a connection, it’s a red flag (for you) to bring more of your empowered masculine energy to support/accept you.

We allow people to see us by the boundaries we set. Focal Point: It is safe to not agree with everything, in fact, others feel *safer* when we set boundaries (“actually, I think XYZ” vs agreeing to not rock the boat) because they can see clearly how to connect in a way that feels safe for them 

Notice how much of yourself you can reveal and feel safe around different people Focal Point: Find people that can see and celebrate more and more of you and know where to go to belong (in the quirky facets and as a whole) Letting go of connections that you’re not ready to let go of (good friends you aren’t able to spend time with anymore) can be an indicator that you need to create clarity for yourself before proceeding.

Make a list of what you need and allow the dating process to refine the list Focal Point: There’s a difference between compromising your values and understanding yourself more through the experiences you’ve had. 

Stop compromising in relationships and start negotiating for your needs Focal Point: If you’re wanting something long-term, it will not feel safe to be with someone that is trying to please you and has 0 needs. Clarify what you need and negotiate as you become aware of them (see Courtney’s post on negotiation Stop "Compromising" in Relationships (and What to Do Instead So They Actually Work) — Courtney Schand)

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