#3 The Subtle Ways Women Try to Lead the Relationship

Author: Courtney Schand & Brianna Mosher
Published: Tue 02 Nov 2021
Episode Link: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/for-the-love-of-men/episodes/3-The-Subtle-Ways-Women-Try-to-Lead-the-Relationship-e19m340

The intention of this show is to bring together men and women in harmony and honor each other's masculine and feminine energetic cores to create healthy, polarized relationships.

In this episode of For the Love of Men we discuss:

The underlying belief pattern of women that feel compelled to lead: the need to create safety in feeling chosen (not understanding our own worthiness) or the need to create safety by controlling how men show up (not understanding how the masculine operates). When we see this as an attempt to create safety, she can judge herself less for the behaviors that flow from this and get that need met more easily.

Relying on strategies (“rules-based boundaries”) instead of learning to trust yourself (“feelings-based boundaries”)(3:34) Mindset shift: stay present in the moment as it unfolds and check in with what you need/what lines up with your values to discern how to respond versus behaving in a way that prevents your feeling vulnerable.

Interrogating questions creates a sense of urgency and competition to incite him to action(12:11). Mindset shift: if you could see yourself through the eyes of your ideal partner, how would you feel/express yourself?

Leading the conversation so there isn’t an awkward lull(15:00). Mindset shift: if you were to assume he is there because he wants to get to know you, what would feel good to share with him, and what would feel good to know about him?

Overextending yourself on his behalf doesn’t trust him to provide or to ask for what he needs and creates resentment on both sides(19:50). Mindset shift: If you could see him as wanting to give to you and how does it feel to respond from that energy?

Dating strategies that make you seem “hard to get”. (34:16) Mindset shift: I am naturally attractive to healthy masculine men when I focus on feeling calm and happy and let him see that.

Correcting him is a subtle form of not trusting that he is smart and capable and that he wants to use those skills to make you happy (42:05) Mindset shift: I trust he is going to figure this out (if my masculine energy can do it, he is more than capable of it too).