#28 Underrated Dating Advice (So Grounded That It May Have Been Overlooked)

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The intention of this show is to bring together men and women in harmony and honor each other's masculine and feminine energetic cores.

In this episode of For the Love of Men Podcast we discuss:

1. Outside support is required to keep the dynamic clean.

Sometimes we get to create intimacy by opening up to our partners parts of ourselves we may have never exposed before. And yet, healthy relationships don’t set up the other person to be your therapist/parent.

Sometimes, high-quality support is the healing balm- to be held in the safety of someone who experientially understands how you are feeling (and why). When women actively seek out support from women/people with whom they feel safe it not only heals the sisterhood wound that many of us carry but also allows us to speak more freely and receive a different type of empowered energy than we would from even the most integrated partner. The same is true for men (although we aren’t men, we get to benefit from the way other men can support the men in our lives in the ways we cannot).

Focal Point: “Would I want this part of their life?” and “Does my body feel relaxed around them?” to discern whose advice to seek.

2. You can’t be the other person’s world.

We all have masculine energy and when it is not anchored into our purpose, it is easy to use it to lasso our partner, making them the center of our universe. This creates an unhealthy dynamic because it flips polarity- the wounded Feminine is now leading the relationship. Instead of being something two people are overflowing into and being nourished by, it becomes unstable under the weight of one partner’s happiness. This also reduces the likelihood you will take appropriate action to remove yourself from a dynamic which doesn’t align with your values or support your growth because you have invested so much of your Self (not just time, energy, money, etc) that you feel insecure without it.

Focal Point: Your masculine energy is best of service to your purpose so your relationship can enhance your experience instead of absorbing it.

3. Explore what makes you happy first.

Even the best relationship is only one part of your “best life”. Part of setting up your partner to win is to set them up to win when it comes to the ways they get their needs met. This feels like freedom within a relationship to maintain the outside supplies of energy that fill your partner up so they can contribute to the relationship. It’s not our job to make sure our partner is meeting all of our needs, it’s our job to create the ability to support needs being met.

Focal Point: Intimacy can be built when you figure it out on your own and bring that to the relationship AND when you can hold the space (keep your partner in their power when they are feeling vulnerable).