#23 How the Masculine can Create Safety for the Feminine in Early Stages of Dating (Pre-commitment)

The intention of this show is to bring together men and women in harmony and honor each other's masculine and feminine energetic cores.

In this episode of For the Love of Men Podcast we discuss:

1. Planning.

When the masculine partner takes the role of planner, the feminine gets to relax and trust your ability to lead. This can be really simple but knowing what to expect feels calming to the feminine (it creates contrast to the ever-changing experience of the feminine) and she will be more open to receive your efforts.

    2. Consistency.

Over time, the repeated experience of your actions and words lining up builds the foundation for deeper intimacy. To the feminine, this will be experienced as sturdiness and she will be more willing to reveal more of her heart.

    3. Communication.

We all have different needs/expectations for communication- what is enough, what is too little, etc. Getting clear on both of your needs to stay interested in the connection will manage expectations and keep her from feeling wobbly. If you have a busy day, let her know. If you prefer a phone call over text, ask him ;)

    4. Sharing long-term goals.

This is an opportunity to clarify what you want (for yourself- i.e. casual vs commitment) and practice communicating it. Even if you are not in alignment, it will create the experience of honor and respect. And it is not going to scare the right person away to share what you want from a relationship.

    5. Validating her emotions.

The Feminine feels safe when she experiences connection. If she is sharing something with you, it is because she is wanting to connect with you. When she’s sharing with you (even if it seems pointless to you) treat it as if she is saying, “I trust you” and listen with the intention of creating space for her to express herself (as opposed to solving a problem). This can look like asking follow-up questions or reflecting what you are hearing.

    6. Consent is empowering.

Physical safety can be a legitimate fear for many women (often at a rate that is surprising to men). When you verbally ask for consent, it is similar to making a plan- on a micro-level- she relaxes and trusts you more. It allows her to feel seen and valued and it gives her space to express her boundaries- to set you up to Win with her long-term by seeing the most authentic version of her. And it keeps you in the role of protector and not perpetrator (even if this is from past experience and not true about you).

Want more from Courtney?

Women's Coaching- Arise: The Art of Empowering Relationships

Men's Coaching- Rooted — Courtney Schand

Instagram: @Courtney_Schand

Ways to work with Courtney: Courses — Courtney Schand

Want more from Bri?

Sign up for Inside Out, The Art and Science of Healthy Relationships + Magnetizing the Divine Masculine: buildingbri.com/insideout/

Instagram: @buildingbri

Website: bulidingbri.com