#20 What You Need to Know If Your Woman Is Struggling to Receive

In this episode of For the Love of Men we discuss:

Receiving. Women are natural receivers. When it’s not coming naturally, there are often some experiences from her past that are causing her to interpret the world in a way that actually closes her off from her feminine energy (natural receiving capability). In this paradigm, receiving feels VULNERABLE and she will (often unknowingly) resist voluntarily being in this role.

There are many reasons women struggle with receiving, here are a few:

1. Emotional. Many women have an experience where operating in a masculine paradigm that celebrates performance and achievement, they trade (or aren’t taught how to use it in the context of work or family life) their authentic receiving energy for more masculine tendencies. This acts as a shield that serves them in the corporate setting but deflects reaching her heart. This also causes her to overextend her natural capacity in an effort to be seen as more worthy.


2. Mental. Other women have shared the experience of general unawareness when it comes to receiving. Because we are socialized differently from men, we don’t understand the experiences leading up to their offers to help and interpret them incorrectly. They often don’t understand (much less intend) that men experience this as rejection. This misunderstanding is deeply unsatisfying for both parties.


3. Biological. Finally, there’s is a biological component to struggling to receive where she experiences greater feelings of safety (in her body) when she doesn’t “take” from someone who needs it more than her. So when she doesn’t receive from you, it may be because she isn’t sure it is safe to accept it or that it will be depleting resources that are vital to someone else (i.e. you).

Action Item:

If you want to be generous in helping heal this with her, you can:

-Verbalize your desire for her (i.e. “I want you to have this”, “I want to do this for you”, “I want to take something off your plate”, etc) this will help her nervous system come off autopilot (masculine in nature) and increase the chances of her feminine energy coming online (a genuine response).

-Express the experience of her receiving. This is brave but if your woman is receiving, a simple smile will let her know that this is safe for her and the receiving ends the exchange (it won’t be held over her head when she least expects it).

-Understand this is her work, you’re supporting her healing by staying present and creating a corrective experience for her. It is important to understand your boundaries and take care of yourself too, modeling healthy behaviors can be very healing.

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