#11 Listener Q: How to Deal with an Anxious Attachment That Shows up as Jealousy in Relationships?

• Attachment theory categorizes 4 main “styles”- Anxious, Fearful Avoidant, Avoidant, Secure- of attaching in intimate relationships based on innate personality traits and experiences in relationships over time.


• Understand that this goes deeper than thoughts, this reaction will trigger your whole nervous system and is able to shift using somatic (body-based) tools. Focal Point: Notice where your body “holds” this story so you can soften and breathe into that spot with compassionate awareness.


• Sometimes it’s not you. What if you were to trust your gut more in this experience- what would you need more of if you believe your body’s response to the situation? Focal Point: Having extra eyes (that know what healthy relationships look like) on a situation can help you discern what’s healthiest for you moving forward.


• Understanding your triggers is powerful in creating a sense of security within yourself. Focal Point: What story do you tell and where is it in your body? When you understand the story you hear when you feel this sensation, you can speak power and breathe into that trigger and heal it.


• Learning to hear “no” takes the emotional charge away from the possibility of rejection. Focal Point: Revealing your heart creates intimacy and allows healing for deep wounds when you can learn what stability feels like in that patterned response.


• Part of healing an anxious attachment is learning to let other people be accountable for their behavior even if it’s your trigger. Focal Point: If you are one that tends to take a lot of responsibility in relationships (very aware of “your work”), notice what shifts when you start to see the other person as equally responsible for the experience that’s been created.

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