Pop-Up 15: Dating is Strategic

Hey, Lovebugs! Join me as I share a story shared with me from someone facing the nuance of local dating after typically preferring long-distance relationships. She seeks guidance on determining the right amount of time to invest.

We unpack the balance of personal time, the challenges of early-stage dating, and the importance of not losing oneself in the process. I share practical advice and teach about the dynamics of male competition and female choice in the world of mammals. Join me as I dissect this story and traverse through the landscape of modern relationships.

Happy Women’s History Month, and happy listening! I invite you to drop your truth for a chance to have your story inspire the next Secret Story episode! If you'd like to keep the podcast in production, consider making a donation. Thank you!

Time Stamps:

• [0:46] - I honor Dr. Carla Hayden to celebrate Women’s History Month!


• [4:36] - Navigating local dating challenges, this woman questions time investment and managing boundaries.


• [5:15] - Guard your personal time fiercely; don't sacrifice it for early-stage relationships.


• [7:28] - I encourage establishing equity in dating by allocating time fairly among potential partners.


• [9:43] - Women tend to become attached to the level of time and energy we give which needs to be managed.


• [10:02] - In the early stages of dating, assess men objectively, avoiding favoritism based on attention.


• [11:32] - Recognize male competition dynamics and avoid rigging the dating game.


• [14:21] - Hear why I suggest rejecting the notion of a "front runner" in dating.


• [15:55] - Listen to Katt Williams say that talent supports elevation, and those with it should move forward.


• [16:07] - Understand that the concept of selection and assessing the quality of potential partners is important.


• [19:34] - In the dating competition, understanding your worth and setting standards dictates what you attract.


• [21:53] - I point out how male competition for female access is ingrained in mammalian mating systems.


• [24:11] - In the animal kingdom, gender roles are distinct: males compete, and females choose.


• [25:15] - With mate selection, females are choosier due to their higher reproductive investment.


• [28:45] - Females in the animal kingdom are also usually more likely to provide parental care.

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