34: Sharing Emotional Reciprocity

Shout out to the married men who inspired today’s episode by speaking out about your desire for greater emotional investment from your wives!

Today, I’m taking my time to teach deeply about two key areas of emotional development (arrangements/agreements and investments) using my two favorite analogies: emotional universe and emotional currency. 

I hope that this episode serves as a reminder that creating a healthy, happy, harmonious relationship is a two-person job and both male and female partners, or husbands and wives, have their work to do! 

Tune in today to hear how you can turn conflict into an opportunity for connection!

HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching? Choose your option here.

HOW YOU CAN HELP ME:  Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic experiences.

Submissions:

Submit your Secret Story or email me a [email protected] 

Book your Awareness + Secret Story Session 

Submit your Safe Story 

Literature & Links Mentioned: 

2025 Moon, Mood, & Menses Calendar {regular}

2025 Moon, Mood, & Menses Calendar {Biblical}

Join Me On Clubhouse

Connect with Me:

• Website: ⁠https://matchmarrymate.com/⁠ 

  
  



• Instagram: ⁠@matchmarrymate⁠

  
  



• Pateron: ⁠Become a Patron⁠

  
  



• Work With Me: ⁠Book a Call⁠

  
  



• Be Featured: ⁠Share a Secret Story

  
  

Time Stamps:

[02:45] The people who inspired this episode

[05:23] Lists that my husband and I periodically send each other

[06:43] Arrangement/agreement and investment: two main areas of relationship work

[08:46] Exploring the arrangement bucket in more depth

[09:32] The ethnography I am creating and how you can be a part of it

[13:29] How and why arrangements are formed

[14:33] SPOILER ALERT: Using Nobody Wants This to highlight the difference between arrangements and investments 

[16:25] The value of being intentional and explicit in your relationships

[17:17] Arrangements versus Investments

[17:51] Why you should join November’s Monthly Conversation

[19:22] Analogies  I use to help couples conceptualize “arrangements” and “investments” 

[20:28] My definition of an emotional universe

[22:32] Understanding that other people have emotional universes that are different from yours

[25:51] My definition of emotional currency

[26:42] How the emotional exchange balance (or lack thereof) impacts relationship outcomes

[29:29] My definition of emotional reciprocity

[31:31] What emotional reciprocity feels like  

[35:22] What a lack of emotional reciprocity feels like

[36:29] SPOILER ALERT: Lessons from A Reasonable Doubt (Season 2, Episode 7) 

[39:24] The two different versions of my Moon, Mood, and Menses Calendar

[40:44] What I hope you take away from this episode

[41:24] What to expect from the upcoming (and final) episode of Season 5

[41:52] Today’s thought/heart-provoking questions for your journal