30: Clarifying Your Expectations

Welcome to Season 5–titled “We Got Issues,” because, let’s be honest, it happens! To build and maintain healthy relationships, we need to learn how to address them. 

Too many women invest too much time trying to build connections that may not be able to give what they want them to give. One of the biggest reasons for this is a lack of clarity, especially with expectations. Studies show that when couples are clear about their expectations early on, they experience lower levels of conflict and higher levels of satisfaction - this is what I want for all of you.

As much as I’m encouraging you to empower yourself as a woman, I’m also encouraging you to be sensitive to the needs and experiences of the man you are seeing. As you’ll hear in this episode, there are particular challenges that Black men and women face when it comes to dating, marriage, and starting a family, and the clearer we are with our intentions, the more we forge a path toward healthy connections and happy relationships.

HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching? Choose your option here.

HOW YOU CAN HELP ME:  Contribute to my dissertation by sharing your romantic experiences.

Submissions:

• Submit your Secret Story or email me a [email protected] 


• Book your Awareness + Secret Story Session 


• Submit your Safe Story 

Literature & Links Mentioned: 

• The Monthly Conversation: October 2024


• Join Me On Clubhouse


• Read How One Woman Prepares for Her Dates


• Black Masculinity and Mental Health (*correction: I said 2021, but it’s 2019)

Connect with Me:

• Website: ⁠https://matchmarrymate.com/⁠ 

  
  



• Instagram: ⁠@matchmarrymate⁠

  
  



• Pateron: ⁠Become a Patron⁠

  
  



• Work With Me: ⁠Book a Call⁠

  
  



• Be Featured: ⁠Share a Secret Story

  
  

Time Stamps:

[04:55] The importance of clarifying expectations as early as possible

[07:42] The long-term benefits of transparency

[10:18] Details about October’s Monthly Conversation

[11:32] How to approach a situation where you are getting mixed signals from someone

[12:04] Examples of red flag responses to your attempts to be transparent

[12:37] A personal example of how I set clear boundaries with men

[19:39] Avoid confusion, gain clarity, and get comfortable asking questions

[20:28] The dangers of making assumptions

[24:13] The dynamics of being a Black woman dating, especially for marriage and family  

[28:24] The power of “nudging”

[30:26] Exploring four key reasons on how some Black men often approach dating

[34:38] The value of observing men in their natural state of being