Marriage 3×3

https://youtu.be/VgF-49Prbb8

Marriage Advice 3x3

Do you want to remain happily married?

Then don't do 3 things and do 3 things:

DON'T:

1.⁠ ⁠COLLECT GARBAGE: Have a selective memory. Remember only good and forget all bad. Garbage always stinks and only you will smell it.

2.⁠ ⁠TRY TO MOULD, CHANGE OR SCULPT: If you didn't like what you saw, why did you marry? If you liked what you saw, why do you want to change it? Your spouse is not a rock, a lump of clay or a patient in your hospital. They didn't marry you to be changed. So change yourself to like them.

3.⁠ ⁠CRITICIZE: Nagging never works. If they wanted a nag he'd have married a horse. Forgive and seek forgiveness. Nothing works like SORRY. Do you want Allah to forgive you? Then forgive your spouse and thank them for giving you so much practice.

DO:

1.⁠ ⁠LAUGH: Always at yourself and with others. A sense of humor is like air. You need it to remain alive. Laugh especially when you're having problems. Laugh at yourself for marrying someone so irritating…and you thought you were clever. And laugh because she was stupid enough to marry you. Couples who can laugh together, stay together.

2.⁠ ⁠THANK: Thank your spouse because there's no thanking Allah without thanking the people. So thank them for all the so-called small things. You will know the value of those small things when they are not there.

3.⁠ ⁠SHOW YOUR LOVE: Demonstrate your affection. They're not mind readers. Even if they are, they like to see it. So show it. And do that at least three times a day. I've been married 40 years and at least I'm happy, so I should know.

Last two as a bonus: Say yes as much as possible. Say no only to things which are against the Shariah. Smile a lot. Keep your mouth shut especially if you're angry. And remember that perfect happiness is only in Jannah.

Finally: Give her your cheque book. Tell her it's hers to manage. If she spends it all you'll both fast until next pay day. If she needs more money she should ask Allahﷻ for it in Tahajjud. Make her the authorized signatory in the bank. And live happily ever after.

Parting shot: All of the above applies equally to both spice …my plural of spouse. That's why they call marriage the spice of life.

They don't? Well, they should.

Auto-generated transcript:

In the name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful. All praise belongs to Allah, Lord of the worlds.
And peace and blessings be upon the honourable prophets and messengers.
Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, and upon his family and companions.
Peace be upon him, and upon his family and companions.
I want to begin by a very beautiful story about Shaqeeq al-Balqay.
One of the great scholars of Islam, he was a student of Ibrahim Adam,
as well as he benefited from the teachings and sohbat of Jafar as-Sadiq.
And Shaqeeq al-Balqay says to his wife,
if the whole of Balq supports me, and you do not support me, then I will fail.
If the whole of Balq supports me, but you don't support me, I will fail.
And I cannot succeed without your support.
My brothers and sisters, Alhamdulillah, I have been married for 40 years.
So, I speak from experience.
I have a formula for people who are married, and people who want to get married,
and people who want to stay married.
If you are not married,
and you don't want to get married, then good, all power to you, you are sensible.
But if you want to get married, if you are married and you want to break up,
then you can leave now, most welcome.
Whatever you are doing is good, keep doing it, you will break up.
But if you want to be married, or you are married, and you want to stay married, then listen.
I call this three by three.
Do three things, and don't do three things.
Do three things, and do not do three things.
Now, we start with a don't.
Number one, I say don't collect garbage.
Right?
Do not collect garbage.
Have a selective memory.
Remember only good, and forget the bad.