What If I’m Not The Best? Violet's Story About Shame

In this heartfelt episode of Ever Wonder, we meet Violet—a girl who tries her hardest but still comes last in her school’s cross-country race. As Violet struggles with shame, self-doubt, and feeling like she’s not good enough, listeners are gently invited to explore what makes someone truly valuable.

Perfect for girls aged 6–10, this story opens up meaningful conversations about failure, self-worth, and identity. It offers practical tools to help kids separate their performance from their value and encourages quiet strength, empathy, and resilience. Includes a calming affirmation and a parent conversation guide to help your daughter process moments of disappointment and grow in confidence.

Parent Conversation Guide

Conversation Starters:

• How did Violet feel when she came last? Have you ever felt like that?
• Why do you think she was so sad even though people were cheering?
• Have you ever worked really hard at something and it still didn’t go how you wanted?
• What do you think it means to be “strong,” even when things don’t look successful?
  
  

Phrases You Can Use:

• It’s okay to feel disappointed when something matters to you and it doesn’t go how you hoped.
• You are valuable, even when things are hard or don’t go right.
• Your worth isn’t tied to how fast, smart, or talented you are. I love who you are, not what you do.
• It takes real courage to keep going when things are hard. I’m proud of how you keep showing up.
  
  

Ways to Model This as a Parent:

• Talk honestly about something you tried but didn’t succeed in—and how it felt.
• Praise effort and character over outcome: “I noticed how kind you were when your friend was upset” instead of “You did the best.”
• Let your child hear you challenge your own inner critic out loud: “I didn’t do as well as I hoped, but that doesn’t change who I am.”
• Celebrate small acts of kindness, growth, and persistence in your child and yourself.
• Avoid over-focusing on achievements. Instead, say things like, “I love the way you tried,” or “I admire your courage to keep going.”

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