The Real Reason You Keep Testing the Relationship

You finally feel held. Loved. Safe.And then—almost without realizing it—you start poking.A sharp comment. A cold shoulder. A quiet withdrawal.

Not to hurt him. Not to create chaos.But because a deeper part of you is whispering: “Is this real? Will it last? Can I trust it?”

In this episode, we’re naming a subtle but powerful pattern:Testing the relationship—not because you want to end it, but because you’re trying to prove it’s safe enough to stay in it.

Inside this conversation, we’ll explore:

✨ Why even healthy love can trigger panic—and why you feel more distant when things get calm✨ The hidden ways you “test” without realizing it (not just fights—sometimes it’s overthinking or scanning for icks)✨ The emotional roots of this behavior, and why it shows up strongest in the relationships that feel safest✨ How love without drama can feel unfamiliar—and what your nervous system is actually craving✨ A soft reframe: you’re not broken, you’re patterned—and that pattern is trying to protect you from disappearing again

You don’t need to prove it’s safe anymore.You just need to learn how to stay when love feels steady.

🧠 Ready to Reveal your Rootprint?

Want to understand the emotional role you’re still unconsciously playing?The Rootprint Quiz will help you name the story underneath your spirals—so you can begin shifting the way you show up in love.

🌿 Ready to meet the moment before the spiral begins?

Tending the Twinge is a 9-day ceremony to guide you into rooted self-holding—so you can stay with yourself in the flicker, not the fallout.

Comment ROOTPRINT or TENDING on Instagram to receive your link.

Follow me on Instagram: @ohflow_connectionReach out: [email protected], subscribe, and explore the other episodes in this series — available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Substack.

All Episodes in this Series

When Healthy Love Triggers YouUnderstanding the emotional blueprint behind your spirals

Episode 1: Why You're Spiraling in a Healthy Relationship

Episode 2: Is It a Red Flag… or Just Your Pattern?

Episode 3: When You Can’t Tell If It’s Intuition or Anxiety

Episode 4: You’re Not Controlling—You’re Craving Certainty

Episode 5: You’re Expressing Everything—Except What You Really Feel | (current episode)

Episode 6: The Real Reason You Keep Testing the Relationship | Coming July 3rd