[The Festival Project.™]
{Enter The Multiverse}
LEGENDS
ASCENCION
SCARY MONSTERS & SUPACREE
THE iNSOMNIAC
DEATHWISH
SEASON 6
ACT III
PART V
Suicide letters? I like, write those for a living.
Right, cause you're not.
I'm not.
Ah.
Must be awesome in the world of careless thought—
In the world of “I can do what I want” cause I have everything I need and all the right parts—
And that's the reason he has everything he needs, is the right parts—the right amount of white, a right start.
CHAK CHEL is crazy,
She says I'm a crack baby
And wants to take me back to hell where she made me and my soul mate playing some game with Satan
(who she hates; he buried me then married me and then—)
NOTHING.
—well, not in that order,
It's…
All out of order, apparently
(like all of LA during fake quarantine)
OF COURSE IT WAS FAKE.
I already told you that.
Yeah. The moment you said it, the only people who might have—
Oh shit—
can dragons die of starvation?
Not if that dragon is Hatian—remain patient
(Please, remain patients)
—Americans are evil, not all inherently—but let me explain this shit.
How?
Ah, yes—
the other half—
HOW.
(hello, but stereotypically Native American)
THE NICKELODEON CULT
HOW NOW, BROWN COW
WTF—
Not that again
WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUCK—
Not that again!!!!
Do you wanna—-
Oh, no—not the dragon—
Aaaaaahhhh—-
Ahhhh yeah—-
What's for Skrillunch?
Skrillasagha—-
—all that too, give you something to go back to—
Careful, don't get stuck in a loop;
Good Segway to that,
Ohh—
It'll give you something to look back on and laugh to just in case he reads it all and laughs and says
Raven SYMONE—-
mmmmm—nooo, go back.
BACK?!
Raven—you're only supposed to have like, 3 lines, this shit's budget, and we're running out of time, and time is probably the most expensive thing I can find—yeah—I'm sure of it—or I'm sure—or at least, I'm sure for the 3rd time.
Find what 3s actually do, and you'll be fine.
BITCH IF YOU REMEMBER WRITING THE RULES—
[oh shit.
The reality hits, you may never finish this shit
TOLD YOU, there is no “in” to it!!!!
(There's no end to it)
Infinity crashes into negstivities;
plans to wreak havoc on my back
track this backmasked—-wait—-
FUCK—
What was I even about to—
FUCK!
Somebody shut that dragon up before I banish it to—-what the fuck was it called again?
“Earth.”
Why would you call it that?
What kind of magic is THAT.
Fat girl magic.
Oh, I know this one—
Drake talked about this one.
He talks a lot about magic.
ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED.
(Sh—don't spoil it.)
—Especially black girl magic—-
Or maybe just “girl” magic.
Don't touch that.
JUSTIN ROILAND
That's what she said.
JUSTIM, YOU'RE FIRES.
SKRILLEXES
FIARRRRRRRRRRRR.
Don't touch that.
SUPACREE
That's...what she said.
DUDES
HAHAHAHAHA
She's so c00l.
I love her.
Hey—
Uh-uh
Mm—
No—
Noooope—
Don't touch that with a ten foot pole.
THATS. What. SHE. SAID.
I T OL s—- poph
What happened.
It's—
Omnipotence means—
That you saw yourself running up,
Prevented what you thought might be coming—but it's not—cause you caught it—and sent it to Nothing—
Oh shit—
“just Jimmy”
>>>in the future
Wow. Jimmy Fallon.
Many hats, that one.
Every time I get down to my last dollar?
I think about Jimmy Fallon—
Maybe it's just a safety device against suicide,
Eventually, I'll laugh or write something I'll probably like, or find funny in some way.
When I'm trying to figure out why and how
I even started writing about
Jimmy Fallon,
So I search
“Jimmy Fallon” in my Google docs
And if I haven't at least chuckled yet—
I might, at that point,
At least.
I'm functioning at low capacity,
I haven't eaten
When I sleep, I hardly dream
Or remember where I've been in
Astral projections;
This circle of protection,
A perfection of reflected projections
Of the vision,
Created in our image;
Imagine,
Making television—
I had to write a film about it
Now I just remembered,
I have albums, the advantage
I want him, but can't have him
Above average handsome man//
All I am is an obsessive fan without a family
Have a plan,
But nothing left to stand for
I'm just buried in the sand,
And asking if the seagull might just hold my hand
Damn
I'm so damaged
Damn
A dine and dash sounds nice,
I can't—
I'm showing tracks
I feel like trash,
But haven't half the magic left
I had inside my hands
Damn
After all that
I just feel fat
Maybe a can of candelini beans,
In place of meat
Maybe a salad in a bag
Can I afford that?
Yeah, but then it's back to
Jimmy Fallon
Damn
Damn
My karma came back fast
I left the man with
Jimmy Fallon,
I'm not worth ⅓ the bag of
Pretzels that I smashed
Inside the can of rancheros,
That fell out as I ran
A random act
Of patriotism,
Dressed up in a sinful
Leather dress,
And a dad hat
The House Nigga caught me red handed:
I told him I was hungry, then just left it
[red light camera]
Man. I just saw the flash
Ask Uncle Sam if I can have my land back
But I'd have to move my mask,
And haven't been vaccinated;
So I can't…
Pass,
Beyond the border of internationals
At that,
I text my fake ass friends a snap
Of half of someone's head,
He's sitting in first class,
And can probably afford to check a bag,
But all I have is my backpack
And I'm certain under a black mask
Is the man who backmasked tracks,
And blasted from the past
With ashes grey to match
His privileged rich pajama, with the slacks
He bounces back,
And asks a fan to
“Gimmie your hat”
And just like magic, she passes it.
Wait, I'm actually passing, yeah?
Who's actual class is this?
Pasqualle's a proud headmaster,
And a Bampheramph,
The Captain dances in his honor
I put on my cap and gown,
But can't go on,
and can't believe I'm being honored
Valedictorian Kandi Accomplished PLUR Police and Motherfucker OG Raver Graduate,
I'm still glowing up from all the love I got when coming up from under,
Or something;
I had to lose my temper
Followed one, and then another,
And I wonder what was up
When it was over
I'm just a lover;
But I never found The One,
Now I'm not gonna
I'm too busy seeking out producers, to compete with
Got computer, complete with Ableton
Don't mind me, I'm just writing all this out instead of sorting through the Dillon and the Sonny or the anyone I've ever loved just listening
And listening
And singing, writing, dancing;
I was born inside the box,
And I still haven't started living
Change my name to Sunnï, Daisy, Raiin,
I go insane in pain
Just sorting me through all these possibilities inside my brain
Yes, I guess I've changed
LA made me everything I hate about myself
And so I'm changing
I don't want anything I need
Just take this apathy and envy, gluttony and greed,
I guess I'll serve the PLUR Police,
Until I find the peace the city needs
So I can sleep in it—
— I can finish writing my goodbye to everyone I love;
Including me—
I can't be S U P A C R E E,
She's just a vigilante alien, a superpowered something
Who should be mixing,
But she's busy writing this.
Actually…
What is it?
It's...A Saga.
A Saga of What.
Just—a saga.
Oh, My God.
No, I'm not—
This is a lot.
Look I promised.
Promised what.
This fucking Saga.
Saga for What?!
Everybody else is drunk and on drugs; I'm keeping the records of history that's lost!
[meanwhile, lost in the sauce]
LLLAAAALLAAKANSJSKahajajaaqwqwwewwAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Oh. I see.
It's a lot.
Ah. Carry on.
EŌS
There will be Hell to pay!!!!
Hell?! To pay?!
Hah, yeah, right—
You expect Satan to pay, dad—?
He doesn't have any money—he just keeps making shit up and then making people give it to him for nothing.
...for..: “ nothing…?”
Yeah, literally nothing. The people that worship him go there instead of here or Hell when they die.
Mm. That's terrible.
Yeah, and then when he gets it he keeps spending m it on useless shit.
He is a useless shit.
He's nothing.
I have to save my kid.
It is terrible.
Raven Simone—
((Incase raven summons-/
Ahem/-
Raven Symons
((AHEM RAVEN SYMONE))
RAVEN SYMONÉ
What.
Where is my cloak.
ALRIGHT—WHERE IS HE?
He—who?
JIMMY.
Which Jimmy—dead Jimmy or live Jimmy?
Like, Jimmy Fally—
Jimmy *Fallon?
Jimmy Fallon: Live, Jimmy—or whatever—
Is this why—- shhhhh shhhh—- they poured the pennies on ‘em.
Ah yeah, the last dollar.
Fuck.
Westwood trees have good memories…
ALIOCHA
You must listen to avicii.
SUPACREE
…nah.
What?? She can see dead people?! Maybe—-maybe she can see Ricky!!!!
I knew he was dead.
Holy shit, that dude has a really big.
HERO!
Yes, Your Majesty.
HERO of ASCENCIA:
THE MESSENGER OF THE GODS AND
ASCENDED MASTERS
omg. Is that Kaskade?
Woah. WhT imminati headquarterz is this???
This is the Mormon Temple.
Oh.
Nice.
INT. The 90's ISH. WESTWOOX, CALIFORNIA. NIGHT
Pasqualle, please—
Come on, Ricky—can you tell me where we're going with these Daisies strapped to our knees?????
—-
There's that Doompy Poomp again!
I don't know what it's doing
(Skrillex)
...He just does whatever he wants… <<
Ugh, my brain won't stop plamping—
And you're still not done pooping…
PLAMP.
PLOMP.
Pooping—bitch—
It's been HOW MANY DAYS, since you've eaten?
OH, no—we're stuck in a tailspin again,
trapped in an ambulance—
I didn't ask for this shit!
I just had to get lit, light a fire,
get ignit—ignited
— and I'm still on fire In He'll
I got excited— but I lied:
I died on the floor, right at Audiotistic
What a ride.
…did I miss it?
[WRITES ENTIRE BROADWAY SHOW]
Yep, you missed it.
This bitch has been burning at the stake for like, 6 centuries or something—
(But that statistic is fake news, just like everything they choose to feed you.)
I can't do this
Hey, wait—-
Don't leave me here!!
Ah, fyck—we forgot God.
WHAT?
Yeah. Mom's gonna me so mad.
Aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY ON EARTH WOULd
(like you almost wouldn't, but you would)
you TAKE YOUR BABY SISTER TO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
Cause that planet's a blast!
Yeah—she loves it!
Yeah—she loves it!
Yeah—she really does—it's just—you know—
Uh oh—
Oh shit—
Oh FUCK!
He knows! He knows! He knows! He knows it was us!!
GODS MADNESS, RAGE AND RATH TEARS A
Wait.
Pirates!!!!!
Oh, that scene—
God shits and sometimes by a happy accident, it makes music and you get all ugly and make bass faces at places and it's almost as if
WHITE BITCHUS
It tastes weird, or something…
(Becky, eating seasoning)
In the distant past, in linear time—
—I swear, this dude is just letting it
Did Skilled for real like record himself like stuffing some Asian chick with his massive dick?
I think so.
That's what it sounds like.
That's because that's what it is.
Shhh that's a secret—
thought we'd get to make it together and get to laugh about it somehow;
but now I'm just stuck in a bathroom trying to figure out how to push the rest of it out,
I'm almost proud of this—
Took a long time to come back around but, man—
the best planets have longest orbits around—and it's been about a thousand thousand thousand times since I seen my—
Your—light come out…
Come out—
Satan tried to draw me out, I hate this.
Make my gravy,
Tessellated all these maybes—
Try to mask my crazy
—try to hide the grief I have for my babies
but Heaven knows God sends angels everyday to pave the way through heavens gates—
I begged and begged he not take your love and Satan?
He gave me the option of swapping mine for yours—
I said “sure, the world needs Skrillex way more than it needs me for”
but that was before…
Call little —foot
And I forgot my little...little...little…
Look.
(Don't look)
THE EYE, INSOMNIAC
Look around you… what do you see?
(at dreamstate, meditating)
LOL.
Sing it!
*sings*
Oh yeah gimme that real breathy Jimmy Fallon
(sings like Jimmy Fallon)
Perfect.
EXT. DTLA. DAY
Here he comes.
The door of a MATTE GREEN MERCEDES BENZ swiftly flies opens, as DRAKE BELL/TIMMY TURNER, narrowly having escaped the mysterious gang chasing him through the city passing, looks over his shoulder—he is knocked completely unconscious, flying into the street and off of his motorbike, and bursting into a cloud heap of a POWDERY WHITE SUBSTANCE.
You mean cocaine?
He's got kids!
Everybody in this has kids.
Yeah, except Skrillex.
Skrillex has like 15 kids.
WHAT.
SKRILLEX has conceived NUMEROUS LOVE CHILDREN.
Oh no.
I like this one.
Are these twins?!
Three sets of twins!
Why are so many of them Asian?!
Don't be racist.
Sorry.
Come on, Chen Lin
I'm Lee Fong!!
Did I studder?! C'mon, we're gonna be late.
It's your dad's big day.
…I never knew my father…
Oh my god. What's wrong with that one?
He's half shark, I think.
Gross.
GIMMIE MY BODY.
NO.
WHERE IS IT?
Ask Dillon Francis.
WHERE'S DILLON FRANCIS.
Hah. Wait.
Hehe.
He thought it was tequila.
Hah, yeah—
YOU FILLED THIS ENTIRE BOTTLE WITH ACID?
That's whT you get, Dillon Francis.
HANZEL.
VWAT.
GET IN HERE.
Oh shit. This is all hitting the fan.
AMANDA.
Yes ma'am
AMANDA BYNES is a struggling actress.
Why are we switching dimensions so quickly?
Idk, ask Skrillex.
Skrillex does not exist.
Fuck,
I'll never make it to heaven by eleven;
This might be hell again,
Call it irrelevant,
What level is the medicine in?
Or the elephant we haven't addressed—
But I can't remember,
I've been in the sauna since
Fuck.
What.
I'm out of gas.
Out of
HOW DOES A SPACESHIP RUN OUT OF GAS?
Leela, I've got some bad news.
What, Fry?
Nibbler just passed.
HE WHAT.
Mm. Deadmau5.
Don't be gross.
I meant—
Shit.
I better get to the delicatessen
I haven't learned my lesson yet,
I'm stressing on this
I SHOWED UP IN BROOKLYN JUST TO GET YOU TO WRITE THIS YOU FUCKIN MISERABLE LITTLE SHIT
Damn. Skrillex seems a little evil.
I like the Devil.
At least I got him out the basement.
RANDOM MOVIE TITLE
That's what it's called!
Yeah.
DUFF
More weights.
Uhh—
DUFF
Duff.
Duff,
(That's such a weird name)
Shut up. Duff—
DUFF
More weights, please.
I don't think that's a good idea.
DUFF
What's an “idea”.
Uhh…
Duff.
I know, it's just.
I didn't do the greatest in interplanetary concepts and relations.
Uhh—
Plus, this “English” is dead and primitive linguistics; you're lucky I even understand anything you say to me—
Uhhh.
DUFF
And I don't understand anything you say to me. Because it's alien.
You've contradicted yourself.
DUFF
MORE WEIGHTS, PLEASE.
I don't think that's—
DUFF
I'll do it myself.
DUFF wheels herself to the weight rack angrily.
DUFF
MOVE.
Damn. I can't wait to see this movie.
It's—
THE LEGEND OF SUPACREE
INT. SUPACREE'S LAIR. DAY
Hm. What's this.
It's a chick magnet.
Ah.
But check this out;
Ok.
When you flip it
[ten hot dudes enter the room]
Woah.
A dick magnet.
WOW!
Yeah.
But SUPACREE.
Yes I am.
How come when it was on the chick magnet side, nobody came in the room.
We're the hottest chicks within a 10 mile radius
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
It doesn't attract ugly people.
NEW AGE FEMINISTS
EVERYBODY IS BEAUTIFUL!!!
Tell that to the Instagram algorithm.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I'm still lost in your eyes;
I think I'll be in love with you forever.
Okay, so that wasn't about who you're thinking it was.
Doesn't matter, still applies.
ITS. APPLIED. PHYSICS.
I hate this.
Go away, then.
Deadmau5 is the worst professor ever.
Can't we just be friends!?
NO, I'M GONNA FUCK ALL OF YOU.
Oh my GOD! STOP.
JUST STOP TALKING.
GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!
Hey.
What.
Remember when Dillon Francis took off your sunroof In a fit of jealous and passionate rage?
No.
Uhh—
Wait.
DEADMAU5 (and Kaskade)
I remember.
THAT WAS DILLON FRANCIS?!
DILLON FRANCIS
I'll show you “peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat” —-
AH.
OH MY GOD.
Ah shit, I gotta catch these closing announcements.
LOVE SHACK, THE B 52-s.
ATTENTION DEFICIT ATTACK
+10 Nostalgia
+90 DJ PTS.
UGH.
Let lost in Ū.
Uh.
What.
It's peanut butter jelly time.
Why? Why is it peanut butter jelly time?
Uh.
What.
Cause I'm craving some bread—
Yeah?
Some butter.
Let's go.
Peanut Butter.
Uh-huh.
Wait.
You said—butter?
I said Butter.
Then Peanut Butter—
Then peanut butter?!
what.
This is toast.
Damn.
So it is.
It is, though.
Dude.
I know, huh.
What is your life.
It is—this.
This is— wow.
I know.
At course, by now, I knew I could never be the kind of high caliber woman any of them needed or wanted—but it was fun to imagine, and live in a world at least inside my head where anything was possible, if only for a moment.
Goddamn.
Thats just a gum wrapper
I'm just a dumb rapper
I've never trapped before
But used maps before
I like pants, and whores;
And plastic doors
And furthermore, I like
Oranges
Oranges
Oranges
YOU MUST TAKE THE A-TRAI.
Okay, Usnavi.
It's cold as
TITS
I'm in the midsts of a big shift—
It's mid winter,
And I ain't shit,
But God gave me
TITS
I got chapped lips;
I'm double hatted
Wide hips,
(If you could tell I had em
Cause these fuckin pants is baggy
TITS
I got two pairs of gloves packed
I think I just gave up on this rap
I got distracted by the actor in Manhattan
Guess I'll just go back to spammin fans of—
SANDWICHES.
WHA—
(They have Boston accents).
Lol.
(Heavy Boston accents.)
Oh, that makes this scene waaaaay funnier.
Yeah.
THE SANDWICHES, MA.
THE WHAT?!
THE FUCKIN' SANDWHICHES.
Maybe I'll enter through the exit
At 11:47 exactly
We stopped High St. Brooklyn Bridge
“That's brilliant”
It's just a simulation
This is not an empty threat
We must control the population
So I might as well be dead
I just can't take this
I just can't take some medication
When they know I'm half indegenous
And history has shown
They just kill everything I'm made of
I'm post racial
But half native
You can't restore my faith
The news is fake,
I make mistakes—
But still deserve a place to live
—go be a slave, then.
Pay a living fucking wage.
You're fucking crazy.
All the world's a stage.
I heard Dillon got engaged.
Well let the wedding be a rager.
DANGER.
⚠️
{Enter The Multiverse}
[The Festival Project.™]
COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©
-U.