‘Complications’ 005 - EJECT

Lemon zest, the rush
The call of your name, for a run
The taste of your fingertips,
The brush of lust against the trees
Again, I call for you

I'm better off alone…
Oh,
I'm better off alone.
I'm better off alone,
Oh,
I'm better off alone

Just Leave Me

The only thing here
Is the kick getting through
I couldn't care anymore if I tried
I couldn't give a fuck if I wanted to
Just one more look at you,
I can't hold a candle!

No more worries,
And no more tear jerkers
(and No more hopeful romance,
For the ages)
No turning pages,
For pageants or princesses
Fit the agenda!
We're all steady aging,

Say, Sallie Mae
How many more payments

I'm just a slave,
It's just unpaid wages
A careful equivalent
No remorse or repent
I'm still soft and sacred
No regrets,
I'm so Shameless

Say, Sallie Mae
How many more payments?

Say, Sallie Mae
How many more payments?

A new writer's strike
But i'm still on a slaveship

Here's a soft punch:
Only kicks getting through here

I don't want to know,
How you even got through here
To do this

Hey, Sallie Mae
How many more payments?
Hey, Sallie Mae
How many more payments
Hey, Sallie Mae
Hey Sallie Mae
Hey Sallie Mae

I hate this.

*gunshot*

“Come for Supper,”

I might throw a party In all of your honor,
For being remarkable
(or such a horror)
I promise!
It's not what it looks i'm
I'm off being Osacar, and I wish I meant the award,
But i'm already
Crying off all my mascara
There might be a massacre right the fuck here
(Or mańana)

GOD DAMMIT, WHERE IS THAT PIÑATA.

GERALD, GET BACK HERE.

Don't you want to meet your baby sister?

NO.

*mother scoffs in horror*

Father:
Well, why not, son?

Trust me, we've already met.

Who's your friend?

I don't have any friends.

Then who's that?

These are prostitutes.

All of them?!

DEBBIE, my friend wants to meet you!

UH! I thought you didn't have any friends.

If I told her you were my husband, she'd charge you double.

KAREN.

WHAT.

Where's my–

WATER.

WHAT?
WATER. I NEED–WATER.

FOr WAAT

Oh shit, where is that dude?
idk probably in the lab

SERIOUS LABORATORY EXPLOSION.

DIIDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!
Compliments of the chef.

(eyes)

(Eyes)

OHYESOHYES.

Okay, i've had enough.

It still doesn't taste right.

LEt me see .

*tries*

YACH.

Yeh.

Did you put in the impossible sauce.

Put in the what.

The impossible Sauce.

In the what.

Ugh. This is a lot. We should call Ronald.

REGAN?

NO! Don't be ridiculous.

Oh...

Ronald McDonald.

WH-{AT}

Ronald McDonald Speaking.

lol this is so ridiculous.
it's getting out of hand.
lol.

RONALD MCDONALD (CONT'D)
[EXPLETIVE} NO! [EXPLITIVE] WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKIN ABOUT.

oh shit.
that's fucked up.
what's more expletive than *fuck*?

RONALD MCDONALD (CON'T)

[EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE]

Wo!
Ohmygod.
holy shit.

RONALD MCDONALD

[EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE] FUCK! Well, did you call the mouse?

I'm so uncomfortable.
Wait.
Deadmau5, finally.
Ugh.

MICKEY MOUSE
Hello.

AGH.
*dies*
MICKEY MOUSE

[EXPLETIVE] NO, RONALD [EXPLETIVE} You dumb fucking cocksucker!

*dies again*
Should we turn this off.
No way, man.

Well, I gotta hand it to you, Anne, you're one hell of a Bampheramph.

Yeah.

You should be taking a well-deserved nap–

I –

Captain.

ForFuckSake.

I solemnly Swear I Am Up To No Good.

INT. BAMPHERAMPH VAN. DEEP SPACE

HARRY, HERMIONE, AND RON/

DAVID SPADE
I bet she'll remember my name.

Shut the fuck up, David Spade.

FUCK. I ALMOST HAD IT.

HOLY SHIT, REALLY.

DANIEL RADCLIFFE

Holy fuck.
Jesus Christ
Are you serious.

Look, i've had a lot to drink tonight, okay?

Since when do YOU drink?

SINCE–

L E G E N D S

“Ronald McDonald's Impossible Sauce”

IN A FAR OUTER NON-LINEAR DIMENSION, JOEL ZIMMERMAN has been hired atyet another dead-end minimum wage job:

A VERY UNHAPPY CLOWN poses for pictures at a children's birthday party.

WHAT! Hold up, wait a minute.

What happened.
Is Ronald McDonald even still the mascot of McDonalds.
Maybe in Canada. Who cares.

People will care.

I promise you, nobody will care.

Wow. How is it you look better.

I'm gonna need proof this exists.

Proof what exists.

THE KOOLAID MAN erupts through the wall.

OH YEAH.

I'm going to bed.

MA!

Look all I got is matzos and coconut water.
AHHH
Bananas! I got bananas! You want some bananas?!
Arg?

COELACANTH, THE GIANT TERRIFLYING CLOUD MONSTER apparently Loves bananas

{Enter The Multiverse}

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