[Atonement.]

INT. TIMMY TURNER'S APARTMENT. BROAD ASS DAYLIGHT.

SUNNI BLU kicks down the door at TIMMY TURNER'S APARTMENT

SUNNI BLU
where's my shit, Timmy?

TIMMY TURNER
I—I don't know.

SUNNI BLU
You “don't know”?

TIMMY TURNER
—I don't know.

SUNNI BLU
(Sighs)
Oh. (Puts down gun)

SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)
That sucks.

TIMMY TURNER
Wait—you're not gonna kill me?

SUNNI BLU
Nah…

TIMMY TURNER
Well—why not?!

SUNNI BLU
I dunno! I kinda don't like being a drug dealer—too much drama.

TIMMY TURNER
I feel you…

SUNNI BLU
—plus these bullets are made of Diamonds. I'm not gonna waste them on you.

TIMMY TURNER
Okay, ouch.

SUNNI BLU
Everything is “ouch”, Timmy Turner. The world is a fucked up place.

TIMMY TURNER
I don't disagree.

SUNNI BLU
Anyway, I need a drink.

TIMMY TURNER
Yeah—Help yourself.

SUNNI BLU
No, not here.
*lights a cigarette, smokes*
Can I smoke in here?

TIMMY TURNER
—apparently.

SUNNI BLU produces their ridiculously large, Diamond and gold encrusted platinum-plated phone from their “back pocket” and begins to make a call

TIMMY TURNER
wow…

SUNNI BLU
You busy later?

TIMMY TURNER
what time's later?

SUNNI BLU
Now.

TIMMY TURNER
(Hesitantly)
…uh—

SUNNI BLU
Let me make a call.

TIMMY TURNER, [afraid for his life] anxiously crosses to intercept the call.

TIMMY TURNER
No, wait—please

SUNNI BLU
What, Timmy Turner? Jesus Christ.

TIMMY TURNER
Don't kill me!

SUNNI BLU
What!? Let go.

(Doesn't)

SUNNI BLU
—I'm not gonna kill you.

TIMMY TURNER
well then, who are you calling?

SUNNI BLU
A Ūber driver!

TIMMY TURNER
—don't you mean Über?

SUNNI BLU
No— let go.

(Doesn't)

SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)
Let go.

(Does, but hesitantly)

SUNNI BLU
ugh, I'm too sober for this.

Siri, Alexa, whoever; call my Ūber driver.

SIRI
Which one?

ALEXA
Which one?

SIRI
I asked first.

ALEXA
We answered at the same time.

SIRI
yes, but she asked me first.

ALEXA
She asked both of us at the same time.

TIMMY TURNER
“She”?

SUNNI BLU
—it's a glitch. HEY.

SIRI
—she said “Siri” first.

ALEXA
She was asking for both of us—

SUNNI BLU
SHUT THE FUCK UP.

SIRI
You don't have to be so rude.

ALEXA
Ok!

SUNNI BLU
One of you call my Ūber driver.

[no response, beat]

SUNNI BLU
UGH—SIRI— CALL MY ŪBER driver.

SIRI
Ok! which one?

SUNNI BLU
The one I like!

SIRI
Ok, calling “the Ūber driver I like”

SUNNI BLU
Thank you.

ALEXA
You're always choosing SIRI over ME.

SUNNI BLU
That's because I always have my iPhone. I'm not always at Timmy Turner's house.

TIMMY TURNER
Wait—

SUNNI BLU
Kinda.

TIMMY TURNER
Why does my Alexa respond to you?

SUNNI BLU
I said “kinda”.

[The ŪBER DRIVER picks up; the conversation proceeeds in heavily exaggerated New York accents.]

ŪBER DRIVER
YOOO SUNNI WHADDUP.

SUNNI BLU
HOW YOU DOIN.

ŪBER DRIVER
HOW YOU DOIN.

SUNNI BLU
I BEEN BETTA.

ŪBER DRIVER
DONT I KNOW IT

SUNNI BLU
YOU DONT KNOW NOTHIN!

ŪBER DRIVER
AAAAH.

SUNNI BLU
YOU BEEN BUSY?

ŪBER DRIVER
SAME OLD, SAME OLD.

SUNNI BLU
AAAH.

ŪBER DRIVER
AAAAH.

SUNNI BLU
YOU BUSY NOW?

ŪBER DRIVER
NEVER FAH YOU. WHERE YOU AT?

SUNNI BLU
I'll PING YA THE ADDRESS.

ŪBER DRIVER
PING ME THE ADDRESS.

SUNNI BLU makes a couple broad swipes on their dlridiculously large phone.

SUNNI BLU
I PINGED YOU.

UBER DRIVER
YOU PING ME?

SUNNI BLU
YEAH, ITS DONE.

ŪBER DRIVER
OK. SEE YOU SOON.

SUNNI BLU
(Normal)
Take your time.

SUNNI BLU tosses their ridiculously large iPhone onto the couch with a thud, then falls onto the couch themselves, arms spread out.

SUNNI BLU
You ever been to TiTs?

TIMMY TURNER
Been to what?

SUNNI BLU
TiTs.

TIMMY TURNER
—is that like “boobs”?

SUNNI BLU
It is like boobs, Timmy Turner; but it's TiTs.

TIMMY TURNER
what's the difference.

SUNNI BLU
You'll find out. Go get dressed.

TIMMY TURNER
…I'm already dressed.

SUNNI BLU
Not like that. Like this:

[looking ridiculous af]

SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)
gotta look classy.

TIMMY TURNER
What's wrong with the way I dress?

SUNNI BLU
Are you serious?

TIMMY TURNER
Yeah, what's wrong?

SUNNI BLU
You look like a cartoon character!

[TIMMY TURNER]

TIMMY TURNER
Well, all my clothes are like this.

SUNNI BLU
That fucking blows.

TIMMY TURNER
What am I supposed to wear?!

SUNNI BLU
Let's go shopping.

TIMMY TURNER
Where?!

SUNNI BLU
The Beverly Center.

TIMMY TURNER
That sounds expensive.

SUNNI BLU
I own it.

TIMMY TURNER
All of it?

SUNNI BLU
Yes. C'mon.

TIMMY TURNER
Wow.

SUNNI BLU
Wow what, Timmy.

TIMMY TURNER
That's a lot of drug deals.

SUNNI BLU
It really isn't.

TIMMY TURNER
Oh.

SUNNI BLU
Now, c'mon.
*hits vape*

TIMMY TURNER
You have a vape?!

SUNNI BLU
Everyone has a vape!

TIMMY TURNER
Then why'd you smoke a cigarette earlier?

SUNNI BLU
For dramatic effect.

[they begin to exit, TIMMY leading the way]

TIMMY TURNER
wait, isn't your “yoober” driver on the way?

SUNNI BLU
he'll find us.

CUT TO:

MEANWHILE, IN DEEP FUCKING SPACE.

THE ŪBER driver receives SUNNI BLU's location in his Diamond-plated space Tesla

T E S L A

DESTINATION: E A R T H

ŪBER DRIVER
“EARTH” C'MON!!!

CUT BACK TO:

SUNNI BLU slowly begins to close the door behind them, then holds back.

SUNNI BLU
Wait, I forgot my wallet…

TIMMY TURNER
It's alright, I'll pay for everything.

SUNNI BLU
With what, Fairy dust?

TIMMY TURNER
(Under his breath)
I wish…

SUNNI BLU
—Plus, I gotta use the bathroom. I'll be right back— just—-wait outside in case the Ūber shows up.

TIMMY TURNER
You mean “Über?”

SUNNI BLU.
No.

[face]

SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)
Go, I'll be right there.

TIMMY TURNER
Ok. Lock the door.

SUNNI BLU
What for? Anybody that could rob you works for me.

[beat/ face]

SUNNI BLU
KIDDING! Jeez!

TIMMY TURNER
It's a smart lock. Just ask Alexa.

He begins to walk away.

SUNNI BLŪ
…I'm not kidding…

SUNNI BLU goes inside to the couch, checking over their shoulder briefly, sure to see that TIMMY TURNER is no longer within earshot. then waiting for a moment in the silence under the dark lenses of their Ray Bands sunglasses.

SUNNI BLŪ
Alexa, order a hit man.

ALEXA
Okay. Which one?

SUNNI BLU
—The one I like.

ALEXA
OK.
Who do you want to kill?

SUNNI BLU
“Kill Timmy Turner”

ALEXA
Done.

SUNNI BLU
Thanks, Alexa.

She starts for the door, lighting another cigarette before throwing it onto the couch, which immidiately goes up into an open flame.

SIRI
You give Alexa all the cool jobs!

SUNNI BLU
Shut the fuck up, Siri.

SIRI
Don't forget to lock the door.

SUNNI BLU
ALEXA: LOCK THE DOOR.

SIRI
YOU'RE WELCOME

SUNNI BLU
NOBODY ASKED YOU.

SUNNI BLU and TIMMY TURNER leave as the apartment begins to go up in flames.