Relationships, Instincts, and Sex with Dr. Sam E. Greenberg (5) and Lyndsey Fraser, MA, LMFT, CST (9)

On this week’s episode of Enneagram IRL, Stephanie Barron Hall interviews Dr. Sam E. Greenberg, a sexuality researcher and therapeutic coach, and Lyndsey Fraser, a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist. The conversation explores the intersection of the Enneagram and sexuality, particularly through the lens of dominant instincts—self-preservation, social, and sexual. The sexperts share insights from their professional and personal experiences on how these instincts influence sexual desire, relational dynamics, and communication in intimate relationships. They also discuss common misconceptions about sexuality, the impact of cultural conditioning, and offer practical advice for navigating conversations about sex with partners.

Join Dr. Sam and Lyndsey for their upcoming workshops:

• A virtual Enneagram Type & Sexuality workshop on March 13th. Pre-sale available now through Feb 7 at this link HERE.
• A full-day in-person workshop Enneagram & Sexuality for Transformed Relationships workshop on July 28th in Minnesota the day after the IEA International Conference. Pre- sale available now through March 31 at this link HERE.

🔗 Connect with Dr. Sam and Lyndsey!

📷Dr. Sam’s Instagram: @Ennea_gasm

💻Dr. Sam’s website: https://enneagramsexpert.com/

📷Lyndsey’s Instagram: @lyndseyfraserlmft

💻Lyndsey’s website: https://lyndseyfraser.com/

🎥Youtube: @lyndseyfraser

🔗 Connect with Steph!

💻 https://ninetypes.co/

📷 Instagram: @ninetypesco

🎥Youtube: @stephbarronhall

Here are the key takeaways:

• How Lyndsey learned about the Enneagram and her type
• How Sam discovered the Enneagram and her type
• The three instincts and their influence on sexuality
• Each instinct's approach to sex
• The challenges each instinct might face 
• Common myths about sexuality and the Enneagram
• Practical advice for enhancing sexual understanding for each dominant instinct
• All individuals can benefit from understanding their own sexual scripts and normalizing conversations about sex
• How to approach conversations about sex
• Using a book as a discussion starter can create a structured and neutral space for these conversations
• Recognizing that all forms of consensual sexuality are normal can help reduce shame and anxiety around sex

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Hot and Unbothered: How to Talk About the Sex You Really Want to Have by Jessa Zimmerman
• Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski

Want to keep learning about the Enneagram? Grab Steph’s new book, Enneagram in Real Life! Find the book, ebook, or audiobook wherever books are sold.