You Can't Say That About My Mom: Why in-law conversations so often go south and what to do instead

In this episode Gillian and Tink answer a listener question about discussing within a partnership things about each others' family patterns that we don't want to repeat in our present-day dynamic.  Risky business, folks!  We considered:

• Why the childhood survival brain makes people so reactive to criticism of their parents 
• How to "go first" acknowledging the challenges of your own family of origin before offering feedback on your partners' parents
• Taking a balanced look together at the gifts and drawbacks of the dynamics of each partner's family and cross-referencing these against shared values and intentions for the future
• Why we have to have these conversations so we don't inadvertently repeat the very dynamics we might prefer to learn from

Gillian mentioned this values exercise that she likes to offer folks:

http://webmedia.jcu.edu/advising/files/2016/02/Core-Values-Exercise.pdf

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