Why romance can make us all a bit harebrained and how to let it in without wrecking your life

In this episode we answer a listener question from someone who finds themselves avoiding their romantic longings out of fear that love might, once again, wreck the many awesome things going on in their independent life. We talk about the neurobiology of how and why a big romantic spark can make humans feel both so disoriented and so vulnerable.  Gillian brings out the super shrinky psychoanalytic theory to identify how new relationship energy can even dissolve people into a regressed infantile state at times, causing us to misperceive any old hottie as some idealized partner/caregiver who is perfectly attuned and safe. We also talk about how to explore romantic love from a more wise-adult position of keeping both the thinking and feeling parts of ourselves online, going slowly, and using clear intentions and values around love to guide us rather than relying on the wattage of an incandescent, yet tricky, visceral connection to tell us where to sail.

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