OT Characters: Proverbs 31 Woman & Man

For additional notes and resources check out Douglas’ website.

Hebrew words:

• Chokhmah -- wisdom. (Ch as in loch, not as in chihuahua.)
• Iiwweleth -- folly. (There are other words for foolishness in Hebrew, but this is very common.)
• Peninim-- corals. The good wife is more precious than corals (Proverbs 31:10). Many versions say "rubies" or "jewels." The Greek (LXX) has "costly stones."

Further study:

• Our text: Proverbs 31:10-31
• Referred to:
  • "Lady Wisdom" in Proverbs 9:1-6,
  • Contrast her with "Lady Folly" in Proverbs 9:13-18.
• For an article on "working women," click here.
• Interestingly, there is no direct passage about the elder's wife in the New Testament, neither in the list of qualities in 1 Timothy 3 or Titus 1. Yet here is a description -- albeit idealized -- of the wife of the elder.
• For our book on parenting, which Vicki and I wrote in 2005 (second edition, 2007), click on Principle-Centered Parenting (formerly,The Quiver). If you would like the Spanish version, click on La Aljaba.

Some things we learn about God:

• God desires spiritual families. This is possible when parents choose to live by his wisdom.
• God builds happy families. This happens where there is respect for his will and his word.

For kids:

Read the poem (all 22 verses).

Focus on a few qualities of the woman. Ask the children what they saw or heard in this poem. Here are a some possibilities:

She has true character. What is the difference between character and personality? She is beautiful inside.

She is good with money. Children, are you responsible? Do you earn, spend, save, and give away money?

She is creative; she can make things.

She is kind. Do we give of ourselves without being asked? Are our words kind?

She is a hard worker. She doesn’t oversleep, but gives her time to God and others.

She is supportive of her husband.

She fears God.

She teaches others the wisdom of God.

Her beauty comes from within. For girls, talk about cosmetics commercials, movie stars, 1 Peter 3:4-5. Can they name one "star" who has a sad, mixed-up life? How can we become women of character, service, responsibility, joy, and so on?

She receives praise, though she was not looking for it. What she did, she did out of a deep respect for God and her family. We get messed up when we are looking for praise, fame, or approval; God is the one we should please. Ask, Why do we do what we do?

Next, discuss what the man must be like.

He is a leader in the community. Explain what “the gate” meant in the ancient world.

He is an elder.

He trusts his wife, and respects her.

He allows her to accomplish many things, and is happy for her to have her own activities.

He is positive about her, and says nice things about her.

His support for his wife makes it easier for the children to be respectful.

He chose her for her inward qualities, not just for her good looks. Boys, are we attracted to girls because they are pretty or cute, or because of their heart?

What do we learn about her children?

They love and respect their mother.

They are well taken care of.

They have good parents.

They seem to have a happy home.

End by talking about the family atmosphere in the Proverbs 31 home, and pray together.

Key verses:

• Proverbs 31:10 -- She is the ideal woman, the ideal wife.
• Proverbs 31:23 -- Her husband is a virtuous person, too, and both respected and involved in his community.
• Proverbs 31:26 -- She speaks with wisdom -- embodies it. (Proverbs 9:1-6.)
• Proverbs 31:28 -- The husband/ children respect their wife / mother.
• Proverbs 31:30 -- Her beauty is internal, deep, spiritual. (See 1 Peter 3:1-5.)

Next lesson: Isaiah