🎙 Doomscroll.fm — Episode 0904.3: Dictator Parade, Bond Panic, Lisbon Crash

We took one for the team by sifting 25,000 headlines through clenched teeth and hammering them into this jagged little dispatch.

Xi rolled tanks through Beijing with Putin grinning like a prom date, a stage show where history is written in parades no one asked for. Bond markets swayed like drunks at last call, investors clinging to safe havens while whispering Powell’s name like a prayer. And in Lisbon, a tourist streetcar jumped the tracks and turned a postcard ride into a morgue delivery—beauty always bills you in the end.

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