Tree yourself well - Hell XIII

Welcome to the Forest of Self-Destruction! 🌳💔

Step into the ultimate botanical nightmare where suicide victims become literal trees! 😱 In this twisted garden of despair, Dante breaks a branch only to hear it scream—talk about plants having feelings! 🌿 Meet Pier delle Vigne, the OG workplace burnout case who went from being Emperor Frederick II's right-hand man to a deciduous damned soul after office politics drove him to end it all. Think your workplace is toxic? This guy's colleagues literally canceled him into suicide! 😬

But wait, there's more! Just when you thought trees couldn't run, here come naked souls sprinting through the forest pursued by ravenous black hounds—it's the spendthrifts getting their eternal cardio in! 🏃‍♂️ Watch as Giacomo da Sant'Andrea becomes puppy chow while another anonymous Florentine drops the hottest conspiracy theory of medieval times: Florence is cursed because they dumped Mars for John the Baptist as their patron saint. Talk about divine relationship drama! 🔥 That's right—even in the 14th century, changing your Facebook status had consequences! 🤯

The forest of suicides teaches us that destroying yourself—whether your body or your bank account—leads to the same rooted misery. 💸 Dante's message? Your life isn't yours to terminate, and your possessions aren't yours to waste. Next time you feel like making a destructive decision, remember: you don't want to end up as eternal furniture! 🪑 #DivineComedy #LifeLessons #TreeYourselfRight