Fair face, foul heart - Purgatory XIX

Dream a Little Dream of Sin: Dante's Sirenic Nightmare! 🧜‍♀️💤

Wake up, Dante! Our poet falls asleep and dreams of the ultimate catfish scenario—a hideous stuttering woman who transforms into a seductive siren right before his eyes! 😴 Talk about medieval special effects! This supernatural temptress brags about derailing Ulysses (historic sailor ghosting!) until a mysterious holy woman appears and asks Virgil to expose the truth. One celestial outfit reveal later 👗✨, and we see the siren's disgusting belly—proving once again that dating profiles can be VERY misleading!

After this bizarre dream sequence, Dante gets his fourth P erased (heavenly tattoo removal continues!) and arrives at the fifth terrace, where the avaricious are living their best face-down life. 💰 These former money-hoarders are now literally eating dirt, pressed against the ground while reciting psalms about souls clinging to dust. Poetic justice has never been so... horizontal! 🙏

Our celebrity spotting of the canto? None other than Pope Adrian V, who had the world's briefest papal reign at just 38 days! 👑 This ex-pontiff confesses he only realized money couldn't buy happiness when he finally got the ultimate promotion—talk about a career epiphany coming too late! When Dante kneels before him, Adrian delivers the humbling reminder that in the afterlife, even popes are just regular folks waiting in line. Heaven: the great equalizer! 🌟 #DivineComedy #LifeLessons #PapalProblems