Welcome To IHOP, I’ll Be Your Lesbian Predator

On Today’s Show:









* Mourning the loss of another beloved U-tard: King Cobra JFS has passed away







* A religious drummer goes rogue and turns praise music into a personal drum solo







* A hot dog–costumed woman takes revenge with toilet paper







* An IHOP waitress moonlights as a lesbian predator on the job









Episode Sponsor: Thanks to Haley’s Comet for sponsoring today’s stupidity and praising DV’s commitment to hard-hitting “porn news journalism.” Want to sponsor? Just $25 via PayPal at [email protected].















🎶 Musical Oddities









* Tim revisits Pure Hypochondria, marking its one-year anniversary—stream it on Spotify, Apple Music, and beyond.







* Opening track: Semen Latte, inspired by Pastor Manning’s Starbucks rant and a true DV classic.

















🪦 RIP King Cobra JFS









* DV pays tribute to the legendary YouTuber known for his drunken mead-making, Taco Bell devotion, and bizarre live streams.







* Audio highlights include Cobra’s “deathbed” complaints, Taco Bell philosophy, and his ill-fated relationship with Jessica Messica.







* Cause of death? Possibly bad homemade booze… or just Cobra being Cobra.

















🎤 Cringe Performances









* Corey Feldman mangles Stand By Me with Jerry O’Connell.







* A church band’s drummer hijacks worship to bang for Christ like Animal from The Muppets.

















🚔 Cop Cam Chaos









* Body cam footage captures two unruly women who insist “you’re not going to arrest us.” Spoiler: they are arrested.







* One claims to be an Attorney General, demands body cams be shut off, flees, cries, then demon-screams.







* Fallout: Rhode Island’s AG office suspends her without pay for the outburst.

















🍳 Florida Follies









* IHOP Predator: A waitress in St. Petersburg harasses and gropes a 51-year-old woman mid-pancake run.







* Hot Dog Revenge: A drunk woman in a wiener suit vandalizes her neighbor’s car with toilet paper.

















📞 Listener Voicemails









* Freak commentary on slow-witted stadium workers, Gary Puckett’s creepy collab dreams with Mead Skelton, and Unicorn Hamster scouting Sniffies hookups.







* Tim reminisces about childhood cereals: Cookie Crisp, Smurf Berry, PB Cap’n Crunch, and more.

















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Closing Thought:“You’re not going to arrest us.”— Every drunk woman ever, right before being handcuffed.







VIDEO: King Cobra Tribute





















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