Teacher Known as “Mr. Pedophile” Busted For…Well, You Know…

On Today’s Show:









* 💥 When your work nickname is Mr. Pedophile, it might be time for a new profession… or, you know, prison.







* 💊 A redneck meltdown at CVS: “Only queer pharmacists give out gel caps!” Real men take tablets, apparently.







* 🎮 Nintendo nerds discover a controller pairing sound and lose their collective minds. (It’s just beeps, you virgins.)







* 🧠 TikTok Munchausen Update™: Deaf, autistic, Hispanic, Jewish… and now, wheelchair-bound! Collect ’em all!







* 💡 Dating for Smash Bros. fans—what could possibly go wrong? (Spoiler: Nintendo lawyers happened.)







* 🚗 Drunk woman stuck in a ditch refuses to give up, flees, and becomes an accidental NASCAR driver before the cops smash her window and learn her name is… Awesome Blossom.

















🎵 Musical Moments:









* ✝️ Jesus vs. Satan slam poetry







* 🎶 A soulful ballad about anime girls and their “big fat tits”







* 🎵 The unofficial Wii Shop theme remix that may or may not land Tim in IP jail

















🧴 Also in this Episode:









* 👮 Police bodycam insanity featuring a screeching, confused DUI suspect who may or may not work for the police department herself.







* 🐷 A massage parlor in Florida lives up to every sleazy stereotype and then some. Customers walked in for a back rub and walked out molested.







* 🐷 Pig Norm update! He’s still alive, still suckling from tit cups, and still being the hero we don’t deserve.

















📞 Listener Voicemails:









* 🎁 A mysterious package is en route to Tim’s P.O. Box







* 🏠 Listeners buy houses, travel the world, and offer Tim a couch (or blowie)







* 🎙️ Soundbite suggestions: “He nutted on my leg” joins the intro clip pool!

















📢 Programming Note:







🚗 Tim’s heading to Ashtabula, so Monday will feature a Best Of episode. New content will drop later in the day—stay tuned!















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* 💎 Sign up for the Sideshow! Get full-length exclusive episodes every week!







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📬 Mailbag & Contact:✉️ [email protected]📬 P.O. Box 36268, Cincinnati, OH 45236📞 Voicemail: 206-666-4463 (206-66-OH-GOD)















Quote of the Day:









“Don’t fucking douche my fucking legs!” – Drunk Ditch Lady, 2025







00:00:00 Introduction01:54:16 Adult Nintendo Fans Are Weird07:10:11 Aduly Pokemon Dorks Are The Worst Too10:07:11 The Most Annoying Internet Illness Faker Is Driving Me Crazy13:55:16 Panic At The Pharmacy Over Gelcaps16:31:09 Drunk Woman Stuck In A Ditch26:24:05 Sign Up For The Sideshow!27:39:00 Super Smash Dating31:28:08 Your Teacher Today Will Be Mr. Pedophile36:42:10 Getting Naked With Your Massage Clients41:15:19Voicemail Line: 206-666-4463 / Ending