Semen Tainted Flutes Revisited

On Today’s Show:







It’s a best of show! Enjoy, and I’ll be back on Monday with a new dose of utter stupidity!









* Alexis K. Tyler Claps Back: The queen of sexual wisdom tears into a critic with nipple-pulling, grease-rubbing fury.







* Musical Money Shots: A California music teacher accused of coating kids’ flutes with semen. (Yes, the instruments. Yes, the children played them.)







* Slip-Dick Legislation: Texas lawmakers try to ban your husband’s penis from accidentally “slipping” into the wrong hole. Sodomy laws meet laugh tracks.







* Bathroom AC Unit of Doom: Tim’s DIY air conditioning setup may cool him down—or electrocute him mid-shower.







* Clown Wars: Meet Lil Lunchbox, a positivity-spouting, slam-poetry clown who got into a brawl over butchering Linkin Park karaoke.







* Florida Woman Rage: A 65-year-old hurls glass bowls and slices up a boyfriend’s body pillow during post-wine intimacy.







* Head Trauma Girl: After a car accident, an 8-year-old can only communicate through fart-related vocabulary. (“I farted.”)







* French Gooner on a Train: Woman films a 75-minute public masturbation session, only to risk facing harsher penalties than the jerker himself.









Plus:









* The Dildo Diaries and Texas’ absurd “six-dildo limit”







* “Constructive touching” explained in the worst way possible







* Dr. Leonard’s catalog massagers (a.k.a. grandma’s vibrators)







* Voicemails about foreskin bragging rights, cheese buildup, and the Church of Debra











Today’s Sponsor:









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