On Today’s Show:
n Today’s Show:💀 NYC proves once again it’s a hellscape of horrors: one man dies on the subway, and two others take turns robbing and defiling his corpse. Real Weekend at Bernie’s vibes, minus the whimsy.
✈️ A 60-minute mid-air masturbation marathon leaves a luxury fashion CEO traumatized. American Airlines responded with: “Eh, men do that.”
🚽 A tall cis woman is mistaken for trans in a Walmart bathroom, gets screamed at by a fragile Floridian, and then fired for not reporting it to the right manager.
🍆 Prostitute Sagittarius Shawty returns with tales of stinky dicks, poop cramps, and clients who overstayed their 60-minute welcome. Also: surprise nut drip and a bad case of eye contact.
🌭 Tim survives another Costco hot dog encounter and reflects on his monthly weiner mileage. (Spoiler: it’s getting dangerously close to a mile of meat.)
👶 Meet Baby Unlovable™: a cursed doll with a thousand-yard stare, a burlap sack dress, and abandonment issues. Also starring: Little Miss No Name, the saddest toy Hasbro ever unleashed.
🏋️♂️ Plus, Mead Skelton weighs in (again), explains “residuals,” and declares his weight loss journey a raging success—despite gaining three pounds. He’s basically an Olympian now.
🦄 Bonus Bits:
* Updates on Sagittarius’ laser facial tattoo removal
* Hot dog PTSD and burp residue
* Tim considers a new line of spiritual voice healing (only $9,995!)
* A few AI-powered covers of Carbon Chaperone — now with ukuleles
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00:00:00 Introduction02:29:15 RIP Church Of Debra03:24:01I’m Up To 3 Feet Of Hotdogs This Month06:24:06 Prostitution Post Game Analysis16:37:22 Meade Skelton’s Post Birthday Weight Gain21:33:02 Creepy Baby Whispers Doll24:06:16 Little Miss No Name – The Most Unlovable Doll Ever28:52:06 Sign Up For The Sideshow!30:19:15 Riders On The NYC Subway Robbed And Had Sex With A Dead Guy33:25:12 Disturbing Inflight Entertainment37:37:00 Tranic In The Florida Restroom41:42:04Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending
Links:
Little Miss No Name Doll
Today’s Sponsor:
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