An Intimate Conversation With A Poop Connoisseur

Tim’s Rant: Trump’s New Holidays









* Topic: Trump’s declaration of two new non-federal holidays: Victory Day for World War I (November 11) and Victory Day for World War II (May 8).







* Key Points:



* Tim criticizes the redundancy of military holidays, noting May is already National Military Appreciation Month.







* Mocks the lack of days off: “You will celebrate those days just like you celebrate K-9 Veterans Day by forgetting it even fucking exists.”







* Compares the lack of initiative for military holiday celebrations to the vibrant organization of Gay Pride events.







* Humorous aside about his dad’s military service and potential infidelity during the Cuban Missile Crisis.













Audio Clips: Explicit and Absurd









* Awkward Daddy Sex Talk:



* Clip from a porn video titled A Drunk Daddy Fucks His Teenage Son on the Floor.







* Features cringeworthy dialogue, including a misunderstanding where “fucking me like a pussy” is mistaken as an insult.







* Notable lines: “You’re gonna make me a girl” and “Take that white dick cock. Just kidding.”







* Tim’s commentary: Advises practicing verbal sex talk or staying quiet to avoid embarrassment.











* Egg-Laying Fetish:



* A man, under his mistress’s orders, acts like a chicken and “lays an egg” (defecates).







* Tim jokes about the man “shitting out a gold mine” given high egg prices.











* Andy the Shit Eater:



* A Florida man, Andy, confesses to enjoying scat play, including eating human and dog feces.







* Tim calls Andy live, discussing logistics of mailing poop (e.g., using Tupperware or Ziploc bags, overnight shipping to keep it fresh).







* Andy’s preferences: Firm logs, no dog piss, open to live-streamed unboxing of mailed feces.







* Tim humorously offers to send a “shit care package” with his and his dogs’ feces.











* Queen Sheba’s Extreme Smothering:



* Clip from I Can’t Hear You featuring Queen Sheba smothering a man with her weight, bouncing on his face.







* Tim notes the victim’s flailing and the bed’s strain, joking about the fart-like sounds and the man’s possible seizure from oxygen deprivation.







* Available in EFUCK’s Camtastrophes #16 compilation.













News Stories









* Trump-Themed Eatery Fails in Australia:



* Bueno Eatery in Sydney closes after six weeks, owned by Mark DaCosta, a former Australian Idol contestant.







* DaCosta’s previous cafe, Hale & Hardy, was a vegan Donald Trump “safe zone,” alienating its audience.







* Tim mocks DaCosta’s business sense, noting his MAGA-themed antics and homophobic remarks scared off customers.







* DaCosta blames “snowflakes” and plans a song release to offend critics further.











* Men Shaving Eyelashes for Masculinity:



* A TikTok trend where men trim or shave eyelashes to avoid looking “feminine.”







* Tim finds it ironically feminine, citing risks like eye irritation or injury.







* Mentions J.D. Vance’s viral eyeliner controversy, “debunked” by George Santos.







* Cultural pressure and macho influencers drive the trend, despite eyelashes’ protective function.











* Meth Raccoon in Ohio: