A Teenage Mutant Ninja Lesbian Rages Over Her Obama Phone

On Today’s Show:







🎙️ Distorted View Daily Show Notes – May 23, 2025💥 Super Masturbation Bros. 3: Tootsie Rolls and Thermal Runaways







🧠 On today’s psychotic swerve into the weekend:









* 🎮 Super Masturbation Bros. 3: ArcticFox drops a 6-minute masturbation anthem to the tune of Super Mario Bros. 3—cum on the dash, the glass, the stove, and your dreams.







* 📱 Teenage Mutant Ninja Lesbian Meltdown: A woman goes nuclear over a busted Obama phone—threatening cops, screaming thumbprints, and demanding Helen’s arrest.







* 💻 TikTok’s Chromebook Challenge: Kids sticking mechanical pencil leads into school laptops to spark tiny electrical hellfire. One student now facing charges for third-degree arson. Worth it?







* ⚖️ AI Lawyer in Zoom Court: A sovereign citizen tries defending himself with a fake AI attorney. Judge is not amused.







* 🧃 Parole Violation Justified by Spice: A Florida man drinks a Corona to cool off after eating a Hot Chip. His parole officer? Unimpressed.







* 🥩 Testicle Tenderizing at Steakhouse: A woman dines and dashes at a fancy steakhouse before punching a cop in the nuts. Justice is served.







* 🍬 Diddy’s Tiny Candy Cane: New lawsuit compares the rapper’s penis to a Tootsie Roll. Nancy Grace and 50 Cent weigh in (one unwrapped candy, the other unwrapped mockery).







* 🧠 Galileo2333 Returns: Pedophile defender Galileo claims prisoners are secretly paid to beat up sex offenders. Totally not because people just hate pedophiles.









🎤 Plus:









* Tim sings another Wii Shop banger







* Calls for more financial content featuring “Doy-Doy Tim”







* Pokemon cards as investment strategy? Might be time to gamble your 401(k)







* Voicemails, Discord drama, and a musical tribute to gay horses









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00:00:00 Introduction01:54:21Super Mario 3 Music Lyrics05:00:16 Woman Loses Her Mind Over Her New Low Income Phone13:20:06 Using AI Legal Representation16:26:11 The Blow Up Your Chromebook TikTok Challenge22:32:16The Global Sexual Assauly Conspiracy w/ Galileo233326:25:20 Subcribe To The Sideshow!28:24:13 Violating Parole Because Your Mouth Was Too Hot31:51:07 Steakhouse Nut Punch!35:21:06 More On Diddy’s Tootsie Roll Midge Dick38:57:06Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending

















Today’s Sponsor:









Promo Code: FREAK Save 50% + Free Shipping And Gifts | Coupon Code “FREAK” at checkout! Adam&Eve













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