Episode 94: This Is The New Me- with Social Worker, Molli Monk

Souvenirs, we buy them when we go on vacation, because we want to bring something home to remind us of the fun we had. There is another type of souvenir that doesn’t cost money to get, but none of us would want it. That would be the souvenirs we get after recovering from a serious illness. Our body may no longer show evidence of disease, but it does have a lot of new issues to remind us of what we went through. They are due to damage the disease caused to our bodies and often to the treatments that were necessary to save our lives such as chemotherapy.

Today I interviewed Molli Monk, a social worker who facilitates support groups for cancer patients after they have finished treatments and are considered cancer free. People with a diagnosis of cancer, or other life-threatening diseases, hope and pray for the words “no evidence of disease”. They are considered to be healed and are now a “survivor”. What they don’t think about is the fact that they are just starting the healing process with the “souvenirs” that the illness and treatments left them: neuropathy, headaches, trouble walking, depression etc.

Support groups can offer help during this time. They used to be limited in attendance by difficulties getting to a group meeting. The Covid virus has opened up many more people to be able to attend meetings because they are now virtual, and you don’t have to leave home to join in.

Patients benefit from the camaraderie found in a group. They realize that others are going through the same thing, they are not alone. They are comforted to find out that other people are also depressed and don’t know why. They aren’t the only ones whose spouse doesn’t understand that they can’t move as quickly as they used to and don’t have the same energy.

If you are uncertain about joining a support group, give it at least three tries. You will get a lot of help not only from the moderator but also from the other people in the group.

During their first meeting after joining a group, most people do little talking. The second time they open up more. By the third time they are feeling that the group is incredibly helpful, and they can talk about things they never talked about before. The moderator is also a source of more information or referrals if there are other issues.

After a serious illness the person will not be the same person they were before in both good and bad ways. This can be hard for those around them to deal with. Therefore, therapy is not just for the recovering patient. It is also for family and even friends who are trying to understand how to relate to the “new” person.

Molli is a happily married mother of three who not only moderates support groups for cancer survivors but also works at The Children’s Hospital in the hematology department. She is part of a multidisciplinary team including doctors, nurses, care managers and social workers like herself along with dietitians, physical therapists or whatever specialist a child might need. As a social worker she assesses the child and parents to see where they may need help. If someone in the household has been laid off or can’t work because of Covid 19 there are resources that she can connect them with. Other questions she asks can also be used to evaluate your children or even adults at home.

Do you feel sad?

Do you feel different?

Is it hard to get up out of bed?

Are you tired?

Do you enjoy the things you used to do?

Is there anything you find enjoyable?

If they have anxiety or depression, they may need a referral to a psychologist or psychiatrist. The psychiatrist can prescribe medication if needed for a short time. Just because they may need help now does not mean they will need it forever.

If your child is not acting like they were, see their primar