Things my Mother Never Told me- Mental Health Edition

Hey baby—there’s a lot our mothers never told us. And I don’t say that to place blame. I say that with love, with grief, and with a deep understanding that silence was survival for them. Our mothers, grandmothers, aunties—they loved us the best way they knew how. But when it came to things like depression, anxiety, trauma, or emotional regulation… most of them didn’t have the language, the tools, or the time. They were surviving systems, heartbreak, poverty, racism, and religion that told them to stay quiet and keep pushing.

In this episode, we’re having the conversation so many of us needed growing up. We’re diving into the things we were never told about mental health—especially in Black homes. We’re talking about what depression really looks like. How it shows up in our bodies, our parenting, our relationships, and even our worship. We’re talking about what happens when “be strong” is all you were ever taught. What happens when you grow up believing emotions are dangerous, weak, or shameful.

I’m speaking to the sons who were told not to cry. The daughters who were told to hold it all together. The children who were punished for having feelings. And the grown folks now unpacking pain passed down like family heirlooms. I’m sharing from my own story, my background as a therapist-in-training, and the lived experience that so many of us carry.

This isn’t about shaming our mamas or tearing down our elders. It’s about holding space for their struggle while choosing healing for ourselves. Because we do have choices now. We have language. We have help. And we have permission to feel, to rest, and to do things differently.

So let’s talk about it. Let’s name the pain. Let’s unlearn the silence. And let’s finally give ourselves what so many of our mothers didn’t know how to give us: the freedom to heal.

Grab ya liquor. Grab ya bud- let's talk baby...

As promised, here are some tools and resources to help us heal:

Therapy for Black Girls – therapyforblackgirls.com
Black women-centered directory + podcast + blogs. Culturally competent care. Real talk.

• Inclusive Therapists – inclusivetherapists.com
  Focuses on finding therapists for marginalized communities (LGBTQIA+, BIPOC, etc.).

• Open Path Collective – openpathcollective.org
  Affordable therapy ($40–$70/session) if money's tight but healing is still the goal.

• Crisis Text Line – Text HELLO to 741741
  Free 24/7 crisis support via text. Instant support for folks in distress, including youth.

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Just dial 988
  24/7 support line that’s more compassionate than the old-school police-centric hotlines.

• The Hidden Cost of Being the Strong Black Woman (Verywell Mind)
  Link
  — Talks about the pressure to be "strong" and how it hides depression.

• Mental Health America – BIPOC Resources
  Link
  — Stats, culturally relevant support, downloadable tools.

• Black Emotional and Mental Health Collective (BEAM) – beam.community
  — Trainings, toolkits, and videos that are made by us, for us.

📚 Articles & Education:

• The Hidden Cost of Being the Strong Black Woman (Verywell Mind)
  Link
  — Talks about the pressure to be "strong" and how it hides depression.

• Mental Health America – BIPOC Resources
  Link
  — Stats, culturally relevant support, downloadable tools.

• Black Emotional and Mental Health Collective (BEAM) – beam.community
  — Trainings, toolkits, and videos that are made by us, for us.