17 - authentic relating and resolving childhood misattunement with Damien Bohler

In this episode, Sophie and Damien explore the paths we can take to relate better with our partners. They go deep on attachment theories, and describe how we can truly be present and support our partners when they are triggered back into their child-like state.

Timestamps:

2:40 Who is Damien Bohler

7:35 Damien’s relationship with community

8:37 The dogma that exists in the relating and new age field

13:31 Why the ways in which we relate is way more fluid than any definition or distinction we give it

17:50 The dynamic tension between agency and communion

22:11 How can we support our partners when they are triggered into a child-like state

27:43 The avoidant needs to learn to be more vulnerable, the anxious needs to listen better

29:59 Why do we attract someone that saves us

33:27 Methods to resolve our misattunement as a child

38:23 Why is the stable-secure not as sexy?

47:52 Why the man who wants to save you is not a conscious man

51:08How can the masculine express an inviting desire instead of pushiness

59:40 The more elegant she is with her no, the more likely he will ask

1:04:14 The sexiness and subtitles of boundaries

1:14:08 Creating an object of the experience of emotions

1:16:00 Where to find Damien Bohler’s work

Damien is a regular human, flaws and all. He is also the head facilitator and founder of the work of Evolutionary Relating.

​He has been facilitating and teaching groups in intersubjective and relational practices for 10 years. He has a diverse educational background, a curious mind and seems to be a natural teacher and facilitator.

He enjoys creating safe and transformational group containers, and imparting complex knowledge in a way that is easy to grasp.

He is motivated to offer this work out of a love for planet earth and a deep, compelling desire to contribute to human evolution.

You can find his work at: www.evolutionaryrelating.org

For more on Sophie Josephina, check out her work on instagram @sophie.josephina or www.sophiejosephina.com