S 2 E. 31 - Gaslighting, Gossip, and Grind Culture: Breaking Free from Toxic Work with guest Kelsey Neff

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In this candid conversation, Dawn and guest Kelsey Neff unpack what makes a workplace truly toxic (hint: it’s not just one cranky manager), share personal experiences from the trenches, and lay out practical ways employees and leaders can identify, interrupt, and repair unhealthy dynamics. We cover the cost of toxicity—on people, culture, and the bottom line—plus how to navigate change, advocate for yourself, and find support when trauma and PTSD are part of the picture.

What We Covered

• Defining a toxic workplace: patterns of harm vs. isolated bad days
• Our lived experiences: what it felt like, what we missed, what we won’t ignore again
• Red flags & early indicators: gaslighting, retaliation, blame-shifting, “rockstar” exceptions, chaotic change, and policy-by-favoritism
• Management’s role: how leaders create, enable, or correct toxicity
• Navigating change & seeking solutions: internal channels, documentation, and realistic timelines
• The cost of turnover: financial (often ~50–200% of salary), productivity, reputation, and the silent tax on well-being
• PTSD & trauma-informed workplaces: recognizing symptoms, responding vs. reacting, and building safety

Resources & Further Reading

• Books
  • The No Asshole Rule — Robert I. Sutton
  • The Asshole Survival Guide — Robert I. Sutton
  • Toxic Workplace! — Mitchell Kusy & Elizabeth Holloway
  • The Fearless Organization — Amy C. Edmondson (psychological safety)
• Guidance & Research
  • SHRM: Spotting and addressing toxic culture; anti-retaliation best practices
  • APA (American Psychological Association): Work & Well-Being, stress & trauma resources
  • CDC/NIOSH: Total Worker Health® guidance on psychosocial hazards
  • HBR (Harvard Business Review): Psychological safety; fixing toxic culture
• Support
  • National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) HelpLine
  • 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.) — call or text 988

Contact: Kelsey Neff

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelsey-neff/
• Website: https://www.bydesignconsulting.space/

Call to Action

If this episode hit a nerve, you’re not “too sensitive”—you’re probably on to something.
✅ Share this episode with a manager who wants to build a healthy team.
✅ DM me “TOXIC CHECKLIST” and I’ll send you the one-page PDF you can use in your next 1:1.
✅ Leaders: want an audit + action plan in 30 days? Let’s talk.

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Connect with Dawn:
Website: www.managewithhart.com
Instagram: @managewithhart