1. EachPod
EachPod

The Dating Secret They Don't Tell You: 3 Phases

Author
Jai The Gentleman
Published
Wed 19 Mar 2025
Episode Link
https://dearblackgaymen.substack.com/p/the-dating-secret-they-dont-tell

I spent 3 months on dating apps with 0 matches…

For a while I thought I wasn’t what Black guys desired, but really, it was a deeper key that I was missing: intention…both mine and theirs.

Dating is a combination of time and effort. Some of us have a lot of time to date, but don’t focus our effort in a way that moves us down our journey to happiness. Others have effort, but no time. Some have neither.

The sweet spot is when you AND HE have both

Relationships are born with you and the guy you’re trying to get to know have (1) the time necessary to fulfill the physical and emotional needs of a new dating situation and (2) the desire to put forth the effort to get close.

When you have both but swipe right on someone who doesn’t, what happens can only lead to disappointment and rejection. This episode, hopefully, helps us all identify how much time and effort we have individually and for the guy we have eyes for.

Dear Black Gay Men Podcast is new every Thursday. We’re finally out of YouTube jail and I can’t be more excited. We stream our live show Thursday, at 8pm Eastern. Subscribe on YouTube or join our YouTube channel to support what we do at Dear Black Gay Men.

By joining, you’ll get

* Exclusive content like behind the scenes footage and special interviews

* Members-only access to Dear Black Gay Men merch and events

* Support queer stories on the DBGM platform.



This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearblackgaymen.substack.com/subscribe

Share to: