Sixty-Nine!

After an incredible 3 1/2 year journey, a resilient African sulcata tortoise was found and returned to its Florida owners, having braved the elements miles from home. In a starkly different legal battle, an Italian court empowered a septuagenarian mother to reclaim her home by evicting her two middle-aged sons, spotlighting Italy's bamboccioni culture amid soaring adult stay-at-home rates. Across the seas, the nighttime calm of Porirua, New Zealand, is shattered by impromptu Céline Dion siren concerts, prompting city officials to seek a solution with the local "siren enthusiasts." In Los Angeles, the LAPD's YouTube channel faced a brief suspension for sharing violent content, but it's now back online, albeit with tighter content scrutiny. Meanwhile, Garth Brooks strikes an unusual exclusive deal with Bass Pro Shops, charting new territory for his latest album, Time Traveler, which bypasses streaming services for a special in-store box set experience.

We'd call this news but you probably already knew it. 

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