Ep. 15 The Four Signs Your Relationship is Doomed Conflict Series Pt. 2

Navigating Conflict Resolution: The Four Horsemen and Healing in Relationships

In this episode of the Date Night Confessions podcast, hosts Zach and Michelle continue their three-part series on conflict resolution, focusing on why conflicts turn toxic and offering insights to prevent this. They discuss the importance of healing in relationships and the role of conflict in personal growth. The episode delves into 'The Four Horsemen' of relationship apocalypse as identified by John and Julie Gottman—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—and provides antidotes for each. They also emphasize the importance of appreciation, accountability, and using 'I' language in fostering healthy relationships. Additionally, the episode covers how to properly address complaints through a gentle startup and shares personal anecdotes to highlight the discussed points. Finally, Zach and Michelle engage in a reflective conversation using Esther Perel's connection cards.

00:00 Introduction to Date Night Confessions

00:23 Series Overview: Conflict and Resolution

00:41 Understanding Toxic Conflicts

05:27 The Four Horsemen of Relationship Apocalypse

07:51 Criticism: The First Horseman

15:58 Contempt: The Second Horseman

25:57 Defensiveness: The Third Horseman

31:10 Stonewalling: The Fourth Horseman

34:25 Antidotes and Gentle Startups

37:10 Connection Cards and Personal Reflections

40:48 Closing Remarks and Listener Engagement

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