https://grandpahelicopter.bandcamp.com/album/music-to-get-you-shot-at
When you have done as much recording as I have and you still are not successful, it can sometimes feel like you are punishing yourself. And that's not only true of music but for the arts in general, so I think you really must do it because you or enjoy it, or actually train yourself to think that way. If you start out with the sole aim of having mega-success, you may very well end up disappointed, as so many rags-to-riches stories end up not being like yours...