1. EachPod

Adopting Older Kids

Author
Creating a Family
Published
Wed 03 Sep 2025
Episode Link
None

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Are you considering adopting a child over the age of 5? Listen to this interview with Sarah Hansen and Simi Riesner. Sarah is the Director of International Advocacy at the Gladney Center for Adoption, with over 20 years of experience supporting adoptive families and children. She is also an adoptive parent to an older child from Thailand. Simi is the Executive Director of Mazi Adoption and Family Services, as well as a licensed social worker and foster parent.  Simi also has lived experience as an adult adoptee, and is passionate about maintaining sibling relationships and promoting transparency within the adoption community. 

In this episode, we discuss:

  • What are the age ranges you see being the most difficult to find adoptive homes for?
  • Generally the greatest need in both international and foster care adoption is kids 5+
  • Why are many prospective parents are almost afraid of adopting a tween or teen.
  • What are the common challenging behaviors parents may face when adopting an older child: (keeping in mind that not all older children will struggle with these behaviors!) 
    • Lying, stealing
    • Lagging social skills
    • Acting out physically or sexually
    • Sibling rivalry
    • Regression of already developed skills (potty training, sleep, communication etc)
  • What behaviors might parents expect to see in the children already living in the home that are likely impacted by the behaviors of a newly adopted sibling? Or influenced by the new sibling?
  • Why do older children behave in some of these challenging ways? What’s driving them? 
    • Grief, loss
    • Trauma, abuse, neglect
    • Prenatal exposure to drugs/alcohol
    • Fear, unpredictability, Fight/flight/freeze response
    • Constant hypervigilance
    • Coping or survival skills
    • Mental health challenges
    • Undiagnosed learning challenges
  • What are a few specific strategies to build trust and felt-safety for a newly adopted older child?
  • What suggestions do you offer families who are adopting tweens and teens – especially when those young people have had very few limits or boundaries around them prior to adoption?
  • What are the signs that maybe an older child is not attaching securely or catching on to the idea that they are now part of this family?
  • Practical tips to implement today when considering Older Child Adoption

Resources:

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