3811 Speak Your Child's Language

Talking to your child like you do your friends or spouse isn’t going to cut it. Kids aren’t little adults—they process, feel, and need communication on completely different levels. If you want them to truly hear and respond, you have to speak your child's language.

Parenting isn’t about one-size-fits-all advice.

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It’s about tuning in to who your child is and meeting them where they are, head-on, heart-first, and in ways that make sense to them.

And all this comes from the parent willing to play the point.

The K.I.S.S. ~ Play the point!

A parent who raises a child well is looking at what their individual child needs and play the point for them, not for anyone else.

Here are three concrete moves you can make to play the point—to respond to your child in a way that lands, sticks, and actually fuels connection and growth.

1. Get Clear on Their Emotional Tune

Children don’t just need words—they need emotional resonance. What’s going on below the surface? Fear, excitement, confusion, or frustration? You can’t slap on a generic “calm down” or “be good” and expect them to get it. Instead, acknowledge what they’re feeling explicitly.

From a parent’s side, that looks like:

• Observing the child’s energy and mood first before jumping to fix or instruct.
• Saying something like, “I see you’re really upset right now. That’s okay. I’m here.”
• Validating their emotional ‘weather’ so they feel understood, not dismissed.

This isn’t coddling or weakness—it’s the foundation for any communication to be heard and trusted.

2. Use Their Developmental Code

Each child is wired differently, and their brain is scanning the world uniquely based on age and personality. What makes sense to a 3-year-old bombarding you with “why?” will pitch differently to your 10-year-old or teenager. Speak in phrases and methods that line up with their stage—simpler explanations, concrete examples, or giving space to think.

From a parent’s side, that looks like:

• Breaking down complex concepts into bite-sized, relatable chunks.
• Using stories, analogies, or visuals tailored to their understanding.
• Matching your tone and energy to their level, not just your own agenda.

Trying to explain long reasoning to a toddler? You’ll lose them. Adjust your communication like a pro DJ adjusting volume and tempo to the crowd.

3. Create Intentional Feedback Loops

This one’s where many parents slip. You say something, but how do you know they got it? Kids rarely just nod and say “got it.” You need to check in, invite their voice, and reflect back what you hear. That shows respect for their perspective and reveals where you might need to clarify or pivot.

From a parent’s side, that looks like:

• Pausing and asking, “How do you feel about that?” or “What do you think we can do next?”
• Encouraging questions without judgment or rushing.
• Repeating or rephrasing their response to confirm understanding.

When your child feels safe to express themselves, communication becomes a two-way exchange, not a one-sided lecture.

Parenting Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All — It’s Precision Work

Parenting doesn’t have to be exhausting or confusing once you stop trying to talk at your child the same way you do at adults.

Instead, show up with specificity—knowing the unique wiring, feelings, and needs of the child in front of you right now.

When you speak your child’s language emotionally and developmentally, and you check in to make sure the message lands, you’re not just giving orders or advice—you’re building trust, understanding, and a real relationship. That’s how parenting stops being hard and starts being something powerful, clear, and effective.

Remember: Each child is a different conversation. Play the point—tailor your approach—and watch them listen, respond, and grow right before your eyes.

"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"

 

#ConfessionsOfAnUpsetMama #CreateYourNow #TodaysParent

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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson

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Music by Mandisa - Overcomer

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Song ID: 68209 Song Title: Overcomer Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI) One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music -  Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.