Crazy in Love

In the modern world, we are told to look for romantic partners who "complete" us. They should not only be someone who we love, but also someone who encourages us to live our best life, to achieve our…

In the modern world, we are told to look for romantic partners who "complete" us. They should not only be someone who we love, but also someone who encourages us to live our best life, to achieve our…

Big "T" trauma. Little "t" trauma. The likes of Gabor Maté and Bessel Van Der Kolk have brought the understanding of trauma far beyond the field of mental health and into everyday life.

But what actu…

Relationships aren't fragile. They need healthy stress to make them strong.

In this episode, Matt and Graham explore how the language of emotional regulation and safe spaces - imported from therapy ro…

In this episode, Matt and Graham explore the limits of empathy in relationships. Can empathy ever be anything but positive?

Yes. In lots of ways. Drawing on the work of Canadian psychologist Paul Bloo…

Most of the initial enquiries we receive as couples therapists come from women. A lot of the men in those couples come into our consulting rooms full of doubt and fear.

And why wouldn't they, given ro…

50% of marriages end in divorce, right?

Well, no: the stat is wrong. And more importantly, it distorts how we see relationships, undermines our sense of agency, and obscures what’s actually happening.

…

This is a podcast about modern relationships. And what could be more modern than AI?

Matt and Graham discuss chatbots in today's episode, and consider whether it's possible to develop a relationship w…

Roger Federer missed 46% of the shots he took in his career. A decent professional baseball player fails 7 out of every 10 times they're at bat. Michael Jordan missed thousands of shots in his career…

How do you know if you're with the right person?

How do you know whether you should ask them to marry you?

Charles Darwin, that beacon of rationality, took a very logical approach to his decision to ma…

Matt and Graham bring the party-pooper vibe to romantic relationships again in this episode with the claim that long-term relationships are no fun, and they're not meant to be.

Most films and songs ab…

The "Let Them" Theory from Mel Robbins has been embraced by millions across the globe, sparking thousands of Instagram and TikTok videos, and many tattoos.

Mel Robbins' book of the same name asks a si…

Attachment theory, and attachment styles, are having their moment. Search any social media site and you'll find thousands of videos how attachment theory explains everything about you, from your succ…

Miranda July's "All Fours" was one of the literary sensations of the summer. Many women in particular resonated with the tale of midlife sexual and creative freedom.

The New York Times called it "The…

This episode, Matt and Graham stray into unusual territory, don their policy wonk hats, and look at a question of public policy.

They discuss Andrew Yang's idea when running for U.S. President in 202…

Affairs are common. Twenty percent of married men have cheated.

But do they make us happy? Do the relationships that begin with affairs last?

Why do we even have affairs in the first place?

Matt and Gra…

Controlling behaviour is more common in relationships than you might think. Approximately 1.4 million women and 750,000 men in the United Kingdom experience some form of abuse. And some of our heroes…

Deciding to leave a relationship is hard, especially when you’ve been together for years. But putting some thought into how you’re going to end it can minimise the depth of the scar you leave, for ev…

Talking can help unearth problems and direct you towards possible solutions and compromises. But the wrong conversations reinforce an image of the relationship as problematic, and upset your partner.

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Romantic relationships today carry heavy expectations. We want our partner to be our best friend, confidant, co-parent, caregiver, and lover. This is a lot to ask of one person; no wonder many relati…