Why You Lose It in Love: The Truth About Self-Regulation and Connection

Why You Lose It in Love: The Truth About Self-Regulation and Connection

Learn how attachment, nervous system wiring, and co-regulation shape your relationship dynamic.

Why do we lose it when we care the most? In this episode, Dr. Rachel Orleck breaks down the real reason self-regulation feels impossible in close relationships. You’ll learn how your attachment style wires your nervous system for protection, why codependence keeps couples stuck, and how co-regulation helps you build the connection you actually want. Packed with real-life examples and practical tools, this episode will help you stop reacting—and start relating.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why staying calm in conflict is harder than it looks
• How early experiences shape emotional regulation
• The difference between codependence and co-regulation
• How dysregulation fuels your relationship cycle
• Three tools for regulating in the moment
• Two ways to repair if things went off the rails
• One simple daily habit to build your regulation muscle

Mentioned in the episode:

🎁 Free guide: “5 Ways to Start a Hard Conversation” 

💌 Free 7 Day Course to Break the Conflict Cycle: www.drrachelorleck.com