Why We Blame — and How to Break the Cycle for Deeper Connection

Blame feels powerful in the moment.

It gives us a sense of control, a sense of righteousness — but it also creates the very disconnection we’re trying to avoid.

In this episode, we’re taking a brutally honest and compassionate look at blame:

why we do it, how it protects us, and how it slowly erodes trust, intimacy, and emotional safety in relationships.

If you ever find yourself thinking:

• “Why am I always the one who cares more?”
• “If they just listened, we wouldn’t be here.”
• “I’m doing everything — and it’s still not enough.”

...this episode is for you.

Inside, you’ll learn:

• The real reason blame shows up so fast (hint: it’s not a character flaw)
• Why blame feels good short-term but damages long-term connection
• The difference between blaming and sharing your hurt vulnerably
• What the full blame cycle actually looks and sounds like in real life
• A 6-step process to shift from blaming to building connection — even when you're totally overwhelmed

This isn’t surface-level communication advice.

It’s about rebuilding the foundation your relationship rests on — one vulnerable moment at a time.

If you're ready to drop the blame, speak from your heart, and start feeling seen again, hit play.

✨ Want support breaking this cycle in your real-life relationship? Learn more about 1:1 coaching at www.drrachelorleck.com

Also check out Dr. Rachel's Free 7 Day Course to Break the Conflict Cycle

And the Free Guide with 5 Ways to Start Difficult Conversations