Why Saying Sorry Isn’t Enough: The Real Art of Repair in Relationships

Host: Dr. Rachel Orleck

Guest: Shannon McCune, LMHC

What makes a real apology land? Why do some repair attempts make things worse, not better? In this episode, Dr. Rachel Orleck is joined by therapist Shannon McCune for a grounded, eye-opening conversation on how to truly repair after conflict.

They unpack why well-meaning explanations often backfire, what a real repair looks like in the moment, and how to identify when a recurring conflict may actually stem from a deeper attachment injury. If you’ve ever thought, “Why are we still fighting about this?” — this one’s for you.

You’ll learn:

• Why “I’m sorry you feel that way” misses the mark—and what to say instead
• How your nervous system plays a role in repair
• A simple script that helps you avoid defensiveness and create space for reconnection
• What attachment injuries are (and how to know if you’ve got one)
• Why even small moments can become lasting wounds—and how to heal them

About Our Guest, Shannon McCune, LMHC:

Shannon McCune is an EFT therapist based in beautiful Bellingham, WA focused on supporting couples and individuals in coming to better understand themselves and each other. She finds that as we slow down to listen to ourselves, our beliefs, and our actions, we can find new paths towards the connection we are longing for with ourselves, each other, and in the larger world. Shannon specializes in offering 2-3 day Couples Intensives for folks who are ready to do a deeper dive in order to find greater shifts in their relationship sooner, or who are in distress and need to gain traction faster than they would with an hour a week. She loves seeing people regain trust in themselves and each other when they take the risk to be vulnerable and look beneath the surface of themselves and their relational dynamics. 

Website: www.madronarelationships.com

Resources & Links:

• 💥 Free 7-day course: Break the Cycle — Learn how to stop the same fight and rebuild connection
• Connect with Rachel at www.drrachelorleck.com
• Follow on Instagram: @drrachelorleck

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