Why Male Vulnerability Feels Like a Trap

In this powerful episode, I’m joined by therapist Edan Zebooloon, LMHC, for an honest, eye-opening conversation about male vulnerability—why it’s so hard, why it matters, and what often gets in the way.

We explore the emotional bind many men live in: wanting to connect but feeling trapped by a culture that equates emotional expression with weakness. Edan shares his personal journey of surrendering the idea of being a "real man"—and how that act of letting go became the gateway to true connection, both with himself and with other men.

We also dig into what happens in relationships when men do finally open up—why it can feel destabilizing for their partners, how couples can unintentionally get stuck in a cycle of shutdown and pursuit, and what it really takes to create safety for emotional intimacy on both sides.

Whether you're a man trying to access your own emotions, a partner longing for deeper connection, or a therapist supporting couples through these stuck points, this episode will leave you with clarity, compassion, and a few practical tools you can use right away.

💬 We talk about:

• Why vulnerability isn’t even on the radar for many men—and what shuts it down
• The emotional cost of performing masculinity and the relief of letting it go
• Why some partners unconsciously reject the very vulnerability they ask for
• The danger of turning couples therapy into a parent–child dynamic
• The power of men’s groups and peer modeling for emotional expression
• A simple but powerful tool to reconnect with your partner’s (and your own) inner child

👤 About Today’s Guest:

Edan Zebooloon is a certified Emotionally Focused Therapist in practice for over fifteen years, bringing his unique vulnerable authenticity and array of emotional expressiveness in service to his clients—cutting to their own core truth.

He has a passion for all of us to be seen, to receive the validation and empathy we deserve, and to be more deeply connected to ourselves and one another. His work includes a strong focus on Gender Equity and Reconciliation, helping women and men both understand and appreciate one another’s emotional experience.

To connect with Edan for therapy, gender groups, or referrals to other practitioners he personally endorses, visit:

👉 www.greaterseattlecounseling.com

💌 Free Resource for Couples:

Want help breaking out of reactive cycles and starting more honest conversations with your partner?

Grab my free 7-day email course, “Break the Cycle: 7 Days to Stop the Same Fight and Rebuild Connection.”

Sign up here: 👉 www.drrachelorleck.com