When You’re the One Who’s Been Hurt: Learning to Love Without Losing Yourself

You want love. You have love.

But sometimes… closeness still feels like a threat.

You shut down. You lash out. You say you’re fine—but inside, your system is bracing for the worst.

This episode is for the partner with trauma—the one who’s been through things that made love feel unsafe. The one who’s still learning how to trust connection without losing control.

In part two of this two-part series, Dr. Rachel Orleck flips the lens inward and speaks directly to you—the one with the deeper wounds. With equal parts truth and tenderness, she unpacks how trauma hijacks connection, what your protectors are trying to do for you, and how to start taking small emotional risks that build safety without overwhelming your nervous system.

Whether you’re trying to repair a cycle, rebuild closeness, or just understand yourself better—this is your episode.

🧠 What You’ll Learn:

• Why trauma shows up strongest when you’re finally safe
• How protectors like withdrawal, perfectionism, and people-pleasing silently block connection
• The emotional toll this cycle takes on your partner (and how to hear that without shame)
• Practical, small emotional risks you can take to feel close without feeling exposed
• Why you don’t need to be fully healed to love well—you just need to stay in the room

💌 Mentioned in the Episode:

Free 7-Day Course: Break the Cycle: 7 Days to Stop the Same Fight and Rebuild Connection

Get daily insights + doable practices to shift the dynamic between you and your partner—no pressure, no perfection required.

🙌 Share This Episode With:

• A partner who doesn’t understand why you react the way you do
• A therapist or coach who supports people navigating trauma in relationships
• Yourself—again. Especially on the days you think you’re “too much”

🔁 Missed Part One?

Go back and listen to from last week:

“Loving Someone Who’s Been Hurt: Navigating Relationships After Relational Trauma”